How To Raise A Child Who Loves Music (age 2 to 4)

Want to raise a child who loves and appreciates music? It's easier than learning to play "Chopsticks." You don't have to be a virtuoso. All you need to do is create a music-rich environment. Here are some tips on orchestrating the beginnings of a lifelong love of music:

• Sing songs to and with your child. Whether you're doing a solo or chiming in with the radio or CD player, you're setting the stage. Don't worry about performing an aria or the full score from the Lion King — simple tunes like "Old MacDonald" or "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" are music to your child's ears. And definitely don't worry if you're a tad off key. "Singing in tune is not a requirement," says Wendy Sims, professor and director of music education at the University of Missouri at Columbia. "What's important is that you interact with your child musically, which shows your youngster that you value music." Also, if you feel insecure about your voice, it's best to avoid negative statements such as "I can't carry a tune." You're trying to develop a positive attitude toward music, and children aren't the harsh music critics that many adults are. They'll love singing with you no matter how you sound.

• Strike up the band. Click on the radio, pop in a tape, insert a CD. With a flip of a switch or the push of button, you can make music an integral part of your child's everyday life, and thus help him develop an interest in music. "Just as you'd get a child excited about reading by reading to him, you get a child excited about music by listening to music, dancing to music, doing just about anything musical," says Pamela Shaw, director of the Oklahoma City University Performing Arts Academy.

• Play an assortment of music. Young children are receptive to all kinds of music: jazz, classical, pop, African, Latin, and so on. By playing a variety of artists, composers, and styles, you create a stimulating musical environment — a home filled with the sounds of different instruments, languages, and rhythms. Also, the sooner you introduce a child to the different styles of music, the better. "As children get older, sometime around 8 or 9, they're likely to pick a favorite type of music and only want to listen to that particular style for quite some time," says Patricia Shehan Campbell, author of Songs in Their Heads: Music and Its Meaning in Children's Lives and professor of music at the University of Washington in Seattle. "So before children decide on their favorite style, you want them to be aware of the incredible array available." Keep in mind, too, that although there's plenty of wonderful music created just for children, the selections don't have to be specifically for kids.

• Play "Finish That Tune." Sing the first few notes of a song that your child knows, for example, "The wheels on the...," and then stop. You can bet your child (or anyone else in the room) is going to finish the line. • Attend concerts. Many symphonies perform children's concerts. Some may even be specifically designed for preschoolers. And often, communities present concerts in the park — a wonderful setting for children because they can listen and move to music in an outdoor setting they associate with having fun.

• Check out books. Looking at picture books kids can sing to, like Old MacDonald, or reading stories about music, like The Maestro Plays by Bill Martin Jr., is another easy way to introduce your child to the world of playing instruments and listening to and singing songs.

• Enroll in children's music programs. Kindermusik, a national music program, is a popular choice for children from newborn to age 7. The classes are designed around developmental stages, and the children learn about music through activities such as singing, moving to music, and playing games and simple instruments. The program also offers parents an opportunity to participate with their child.

• Dance to the music. Kids love to dance, so crank up the tunes and twist and shout. • Perform. If your child can bang out a tune on your pots and pans, why not put on a show? Make it casual, but special. Maybe you accompany your little drummer boy on a whistle. You might even videotape the show as a gift for Grandma and Grandpa.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center-Developmental Milestone: Separation and Indenpendence (age 3 to 4)

Separation and independence: What to expect when
Most kids conquer separation anxiety by their third birthday. But don't be surprised if, once your child's cleared this hurdle, temporary episodes of separation anxiety continue to recur from time to time.

What you'll see
Children this age can still flip-flop between wanting to be independent and needing to run back to the comfort and security of Mom or Dad's arms. Still, helping your child cope with separation now will make future separations easier. That's especially true if your child has a shy, anxious, or timid temperament, since he may be more sensitive to separations.

Your child will also be less dependent on you by around age 3. That's a positive sign that he's more secure and his sense of identity is stronger. For instance, he'll happily play with other children, instead of just side by side. And, of course, most kids this age walk, talk, feed themselves, and use the potty or toilet with little or no help from you or your partner. By age 4 or so, your child can dress himself, brush his teeth with supervision, and pour his own cereal. But don't panic; despite this emerging independence, there's a long way before your child packs his bags for college.

What you can do
It's simple: Encourage your child's growing independence. "The challenge of parenting lies in finding the balance between nurturing, protecting, and guiding your child, and allowing him to explore, experiment, and become an independent, unique person," says California family therapist Jane Nelsen, author of the Positive Discipline book series. So let your child safely try something new, such as trying a different food, handling a conflict with his best friend, or riding a bike, and resist the urge to intervene. Jumping in to say, "I'll do it" can foster dependence and diminish your child's confidence.

You'll also want to balance between offering your child developmentally appropriate challenges, which may still involve some frustration on his part, and having him stretch to tackle developmentally inappropriate tasks, which can squelch independence. In other words, let him tough it out a bit to undo his buttons, for instance, but don't set him up to fail by expecting him to cut his sandwich in four triangles. Watch for his cues. Following are some smart strategies to try:

At home If your child has bouts of separation anxiety at home, your best bet is to figure out what he's afraid of — going to bed alone, for instance — and then address those fears with sympathy but not too much fuss, which can create the impression that his anxiety is warranted. To beat the bedtime blues, reassure your child that he's safe in an upbeat but matter-of-fact fashion. Say, "You've had something to drink and you've been to the toilet. So there's no need to get up again. It's time to lie down and go to sleep. Mommy will be in the next room."

When you need to head out for errands without your child or maybe even for a date with your partner, don't sneak out or lie about where you're headed. Prepare your child in advance, and then keep your goodbye ritual predictable, says Kristi Alexander, a pediatric psychologist at United States International University in San Diego. Try, "Christine is coming to play with you tonight while Mama and Daddy go to the movies. We'll come home after you've gone to sleep, but we'll come in and kiss you goodnight." And don't worry: You're not a bad parent if your child has difficulty separating from you. In fact, it's often a sign that you've established a strong bond with your child.

At preschool A child who has a tough time separating, or one who isn't used to being apart from you or your partner, can benefit from a gradual transition to a new childcare or preschool situation. Plan to stay awhile for the first few mornings of preschool so he can get comfortable in this unfamiliar setting before saying your goodbyes. You may need to ease into this new routine by leaving him for only a couple of hours at first and then gradually working up to a half-day or full-day schedule.

Around others Acknowledge the importance of your child's increasingly independent relationships. For instance, suggest that your child invite his preschool pals home. It's important to a child's self-esteem to be able to show off his home, family, and toys. This doesn't mean your house has to be luxurious or filled with expensive playthings; warm and welcoming is what's needed here.

A child's sense of independence is also nourished when you treat him with respect. For instance, his body is his own, so don't insist that he kiss or hug relatives or family friends if he doesn't want to. Instead, let him set his own pace for public displays of affection. If Grandma feels slighted, simply explain to her that you don't want to force your child to show his affection when he doesn't want to — he'll probably find other ways to let her know he's happy to see her.

What to watch out for
If your child routinely clings, cries, or otherwise displays a major protest when you or your partner leaves him, talk to his pediatrician. It may simply mean that he has a tendency to such behavior because of his temperament, which he'll probably overcome by around age 6. Or he may be stressed about a change, such as going to preschool, moving to a new house, or the unexpected absence of a parent. A persistent problem with separating that lasts four weeks or more and negatively affects the quality of your child's life, for instance skipping playdates to avoid anxiety, should be discussed with his doctor, Alexander says.

Don't despair if your 4-year-old child starts being rude when you ask him to do something he doesn't want to do. Difficult as this behavior may be to tolerate, it's actually a sign that he's learning to challenge authority and test the limits of his independence. Simply tell him in a calm but firm manner that such behavior is unacceptable and then move on. Making a big fuss over backtalk can backfire: You may actually prolong this sassy patter instead of putting a stop to it.

What's ahead
The road to adulthood is riddled with separations: the first day of school, the first time at a sleepover, and even the first year of college. Just around the corner for your soon-to-be 5-year-old is, of course, the challenge of starting kindergarten. At this age, your child can probably quite comfortably separate from you and your partner. And he'll become more and more independent as people outside his immediate family, such as peers and teachers, play a larger role in his life. But you're not done yet: Your child will always need your guidance, encouragement, and love.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center-Developmental Milestone: Separation and Indenpendence (age 2)

Separation and independence: What to expect when
When your child was a baby, she was completely unaware that you and she were two separate beings. But over time, as she develops various physical, mental, and emotional skills and grows more confident, she'll start to figure out that she's her own person (with her own body, thoughts, and feelings), and she'll increasingly want to do things her way. Of course, as a parent of a 2-year-old, you're probably painfully aware of this. It's a bittersweet process to realize your baby's growing up — sad, but also cause for celebration.

What you'll see
When your child hits age 2, the adventure of self-discovery truly begins. This is a time of astounding transformation from infancy to independence. As a result, it's also a period of challenging behaviors. But understanding the reasons behind your child's actions can help you get through this tumultuous and exciting time.

Once completely dependent on you, your child now has the physical and mental capacity to wander off on her own. She embarks on this whirlwind voyage of mobility believing she rules her world. All too quickly, though, she learns the limits of her powers as she tries new experiences, whether it's climbing up on the couch and then not knowing how to get down, or trying to put on her coat and getting hopelessly tangled in it. When she realizes she doesn't have everything figured out just yet, she becomes frustrated and frightened. But throughout this process of trial and error, she's painstakingly developing her own identity.

Along with this newfound self-awareness comes a fear of abandonment, otherwise known as classic separation anxiety — sometimes she'll walk away from you, and other times she'll come running back. "Separation anxiety is an absolutely normal stage of development," says Donald K. Freedheim, a child psychologist and director of the Schubert Center for Child Development at Case Western Reserve University. "All children go through it; it's just more visible in some than in others." According to Freedheim, the condition tends to wax and wane, usually peaking at 18 months and tapering off by 30 months.

Between the ages of 2 and 3, your child continues to struggle for independence. She tests her limits any chance she can (coloring on the walls, for example, even if you tell her not to). "I can do it myself" is probably her most common refrain. Her newly discovered autonomy is linked to her sense of self, and she flaunts it in many ways. She may insist on wearing her purple pajamas for the fifth night in a row, eating only certain foods, and climbing into her car seat by herself.

What you can do
Despite the temptation to rush in and rescue your "baby" when she gets into a bind, try to encourage your child's growing independence. At the same time, be sure she knows you'll be there when she needs you. Your 2-year-old's trust in you is growing now, and this feeling of trust gives her the confidence to venture out on her own. She may still get upset when you leave her at daycare or with a sitter, but she'll recover more quickly now because she's more secure. Experience has taught her that you'll always return. Of course, knowing you'll come back and accepting your departure are two different issues. So although she's well aware that you will return, she may put on a bigger show when you leave her. Be sure to give your child the attention and reassurance she needs along with a kiss accompanied by a promise that you'll return. Pay attention to the signals you're sending to your child too — are you lingering at the door when you say good-bye?

What to watch out for
If she's like most kids, your child will conquer separation anxiety by her third birthday. But don't be surprised if, once she's cleared that hurdle, temporary episodes of separation anxiety continue to recur from time to time. The road to maturity is riddled with separations: the first day of preschool, the first time at sleep-away camp, and even the first year of college. But helping your child cope with separation now will make future separations easier.

What comes next
With age comes greater independence and self-confidence. Each year will bring more things that your child will want to do on her own. As she gets older, she'll get to know herself better and will be more aware of her limitations. Future developments include the ability to help prepare simple snacks and meals, make friends, and go to school. Before you know it, your clingy 2-year-old will grow into an audacious preschooler.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center-Developmental Milestone: Self-care (age 3 to 4)

Self-care: What to expect when
As your child grows older, he'll learn — and want — to do more things for himself, from brushing his teeth to getting his own bowl of cereal. While watching your preschooler become increasingly independent can be bittersweet, learning to take care of himself is an important part of his personal and social development.

Skills he'll work at
Using a fork and spoon: By the time your child is 4, he should be able to hold a fork and spoon like an adult. With some guidance from you, he can also get a handle on how to use a knife. And — joy of joys — he'll be ready to learn table manners.

Dressing and undressing: Preschoolers should be able to put their clothes on and take them off without too much trouble. Zippers, buttons, snaps, and clasps on overalls still may be tough; while many preschoolers can undo these with ease, they will probably need help with fastening. Velcro, on the other hand, is easy for little hands to manipulate. Many children this age can put on their shoes without help if they have Velcro straps.

Brushing teeth: Most children get fairly adept at toothbrushing sometime between their third and fourth birthdays, but they still need your help and supervision. It takes quite a bit of coordination for your child to hold a toothbrush and maneuver it around his mouth so that he's really cleaning in there. But let him do his bit — it makes him feel grown up and helps him develop a good habit for life. And make sure he uses only a pea-size drop of fluoride toothpaste; he's apt to swallow some instead of spitting it all out, and too much fluoride is not a good thing.

Using the toilet: Most children are toilet trained by about age 3, though some aren't ready until age 4. As a toddler your child probably used a potty rather than a toilet. Now he needs to get comfortable using the toilet both at home and elsewhere. Little boys typically sit down to urinate in the early stages of toilet training, but as preschoolers they'll want to copy their dads, older brothers, and friends, who stand up to urinate. Also at this age, your child may develop the ability to stay dry at night if he hasn't done so already.

Preparing breakfast: Children as young as 3 may be able to get their own cereal for breakfast, especially if they're hungry. The more he practices, the better he'll get. If your child wants to get his own breakfast, make it easy for him by leaving kid-size containers of cereal and milk on the counter and in the fridge in spots he can reach. Then brace yourself for some spills — they're worth it in the long run.

Helping out around the house: Children this age can help by picking up their toys (though they'd usually rather not), and 4-year-olds can begin making their beds. They can also lend you and your partner a hand with simple tasks in the kitchen and around the yard. Many preschoolers, for instance, love to help stir the muffin mix or water the garden. Instead of allowing yourself to get into a power struggle with your preschooler, encourage him to help rather than insisting. You can accomplish a lot through long-term encouragement.

What you can do
Encouragement is key. When your preschooler tries his hand at a new skill, tell him you're proud he tried (regardless of the result) and urge him to try again. Don't always jump in to help; it's essential that he have enough time to master tasks on his own, at his own pace. Try not to pressure him before he's ready, either. And be flexible: If allowing him to prepare his own breakfast means you'll have to sweep cereal off the floor, go with the flow. If he's years away from perfecting hospital corners on his bed, don't sweat it. Just buy fitted sheets and a comforter so bed making is a cinch.

Keep a watchful eye on your child as he begins to experiment with doing things he hasn't tried before, and explain why he can't do everything for himself. Tell him, for example, why it's not safe for him to turn on the oven or cut his own bread with the bread knife. He may not be happy about it, but he'll understand.

What to watch out for
Children develop skills differently, some more quickly than others, but if your child actively resists attempting any of the tasks above or shows no interest in learning them, talk to his pediatrician.

What's ahead
As the years roll by, your child will get better and better at taking care of himself. He'll be able to tie his shoes and take a shower or bath on his own, and then it's simply a matter of time before he can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive himself to soccer practice.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center-Developmental Milestone: Self-care (age 2)

Self-care: What to expect when
When your child was a baby, you did everything for her. You changed her diapers, wiped her face when she spat up, and burped her after meals. But as she gets older, she'll learn to do more things for herself, from pulling off her shirt to getting her own bowl of cereal. This is the "I want to do it myself" age. Watching your child grow increasingly independent can be bittersweet, but learning to take care of herself is an important part of your child's personal and social development.

Skills she'll work at
Undressing: While your child may already know how to undress herself, around now she's likely to go through several clothing changes a day (just because she can), and that's fine — 2-year-olds are notoriously messy anyway and often end up with their clothes streaked with food or finger paint. On the flip side, though, if your child resists changing her clothes when you want her to, consider giving up. This is the time to relax your expectations a bit.

Catching a sneeze:Your child can start to follow some basic rules of hygiene. An important one: sneezing into her elbow, as opposed to her hand or the air. Preschools teach this technique to keep children from spraying germs everywhere and passing along germs by touch.

Brushing her teeth: Many 2-year-olds insist on brushing their teeth. Let your child make a first pass, but follow up with a more thorough cleaning yourself. And make sure she uses only a pea-size drop of fluoride toothpaste; she's apt to swallow some instead of spitting it all out, and too much fluoride is not a good thing. Your child won't be capable of adequate toothbrushing until much later, possibly not until she's 6 or 7. It takes quite a bit of coordination for a child to hold a toothbrush and maneuver it around her mouth so she's really cleaning in there. But let her do her bit; it makes her feel grown up and gets her into a good habit for life.

Using the toilet: Some children develop the physical and cognitive skills necessary to begin toilet training by around 18 to 24 months, while others aren't ready until age 3 or 4. Your child will let you know when it's time. For more, see Toilet Training in Three Easy Steps.

Preparing breakfast: Your 2-year-old may not be capable of fetching a bowl, filling it with cereal, and pouring on the milk all by herself, and you may not be capable of watching her try. But you can break down these tasks and let her do as much as possible. For example, have her bring you a plastic bowl (from a low cabinet), and after you've poured the cereal, let her pour the milk from a measuring cup. You can also encourage your child's independence by putting healthy snacks within her reach so she can get them on her own. She may drop some on the floor, but applaud her efforts anyway.

What you can do
Encouragement is key. Whenever your child tries her hand at a new skill, tell her you're proud she tried (regardless of the result) and urge her to try again. Don't always jump in to help; it's essential that she have enough time to master tasks on her own, at her own pace. Try not to pressure her before she's ready, either. And be flexible: If allowing her to prepare her own breakfast means you'll have to sweep cereal off the floor, go with the flow.

What to watch out for
Children develop skills differently, some more quickly than others, but if your child hasn't shown interest in doing anything for herself by the time she's 2, or if she seems incapable of handling the most basic tasks such as feeding herself with utensils, talk to her pediatrician.

What's ahead
Advances in self-care skills come fast and furious during the preschool years. Most kids have mastered the basics of self-care — dressing, washing their hands, feeding themselves, and going to the bathroom (but not necessarily wiping!) — by their fourth birthday. As the months and years roll by, your child will get better and better at meeting her own needs. You'll blink, a few years will go by, and she'll be able to tie her shoes and shower or bathe by herself. Then it's just a matter of time until she can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive herself to soccer practice. By then you'll be wishing she'd let you baby her once in a while, but her refusal to give up her autonomy will be a testament to your success in teaching her to care for herself.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center-The Responsible Child: How to Teach Responsibility (age 3 to 4)

What to expect at this age
A preschooler isn't developmentally ready to focus on the greater good or to understand his role in the family, let alone his role in society (he does know, however, that he's the center of the universe!). He's also not ready for complex chores or for maintaining his own schedule. But he does want to be as busy and important as you appear to be. So take a positive view of it if your little one's always underfoot while you're trying to get things done. His desire lays the groundwork for the behaviors that will make him a responsible teen and adult.

What you can do
Choose age-appropriate tasks. Tasks that are too difficult will only overwhelm your preschooler. He'll be daunted by the request to "clean your room" — after all, it's probably even daunting for you. "Put your shoes in the closet," on the other hand, is manageable. You'll be amazed by how much pride and self-reliance he gains from undertaking such simple chores.

Show and tell. The best (and perhaps hardest) way to instill a sense of responsibility is to be a good role model with your own possessions — put your car keys where they belong instead of on the dining room table, and tidy up your stack of magazines instead of leaving them all over the couch. Then, when you give your child his own small tasks, show him exactly how to do them (day after day, at least for awhile). Saying, "Time to set the table," makes less sense to him than a demonstration accompanied by, "Look how I'm putting one plate on the table in front of each chair, and the napkins go just like this. Want to help me do that?" If you find yourself spending too much time demonstrating to your preschooler how to perform a task, chances are it's too complicated for him.

Teach first things first. Your preschooler isn't too young to learn that work comes before play. He'll get the message when you say, "Sure I want to take you to the park! But first we need to clean up after lunch." Be friendly and matter-of-fact about it, and admit that you prefer the fun, too — then he'll understand that you're not just being bossy, but are simply expecting him to behave responsibly.

Make the job a game. Remember learning about barn-raising parties, where the whole village would help a family build a barn, and then everyone would share a feast? We all enjoy tasks more when they're fun, social occasions. Your preschooler is happy to be spending time with you, and he doesn't view emptying the dryer as a chore — it's fun to pull out warm, fluffy clothes and pile them in a basket. Follow his lead and dance to music while you dust together, or have a race to see who can put away the most blocks.

Establish a routine. Your preschooler will learn responsible habits more easily if you set a routine early on. Teach him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper and help put his tub toys away after every bath. He'll see that chores are a part of everyday life, not something grownups hand out on a whim.

Phrase things in a positive way. Jerry Wyckoff, a family psychologist and the coauthor of Twenty Teachable Virtues, suggests using what he calls "Grandma's rule" to engender responsibility in preschoolers. "Grandma's rule makes it clear that your household has rules that everyone follows," says Wyckoff. So instead of issuing an ultimatum ("If you don't, then you won't"), Grandma's rule says, "When you've done what you have to do, then you get to do what you want to do." If your child says, "I want to play in the backyard," respond with, "When you put your puzzles away, then you can go outside to play." Saying, "If you clean up your toys, I'll give you a treat," on the other hand, really just bribes your preschooler for what should be normal behavior — and it raises the possibility that he'll decide he can live without the treat and thus pass on cleaning up his toys.

Give your preschooler space. For the sake of expediency, you may be tempted to grab his plate and put it in the dishwasher yourself. Try to resist this urge. Instead, concentrate more on your preschooler's efforts than his actual accomplishments. He may not be doing a perfect job, but criticizing him or co-opting his chores will only squelch his desire to help. (And remind yourself that practice does make perfect.) Try phrasing your suggestions in an encouraging way: "You've done a really good job clearing your plate. I like to put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher, though, not back on the shelf."

Expect ups and downs. "Kids are going to mess up. That's part of being a kid," says Paul Coleman, a father, psychologist, and the author of How to Say It to Your Kids. "But you can usually get more compliance when they realize there's a pattern." So try not to express anger or disappointment if your child is having an off day. Just say to him calmly, "Remember, you always put your trucks away when you're done playing with them."

Pour on the praise. Positive reinforcement will teach your preschooler that his efforts are important and appreciated. Be specific with your praise: "You did so well putting Fluffy's food right in his bowl," as opposed to "Good job!" When appropriate, point out exactly how his efforts have helped everyone else: "Now that you've put the spoons on the table, we can all eat right away. Let's sit down!"

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center-The Responsible Child: How to Teach Responsibility (age 2)

What to expect at this age
A 2-year-old isn't developmentally ready to focus on the greater good or to understand her role in the family, let alone her role in society (she does know, however, that she's the center of the universe!). She's also not ready for complex chores or for maintaining her own schedule. But she does want to be as busy and important as you appear to be. So take a positive view of it if your little one's always underfoot while you're trying to get things done. Her desire lays the groundwork for the behaviors that'll make her a responsible teen and adult.

What you can do
Start simply. Tasks that are too difficult will only overwhelm your 2-year-old. Start with the easy ones: She can throw her own Kleenex in the garbage, pour dry kibble into the cat's bowl, or use a small pitcher to water a potted plant. Simple, one-step tasks are best for this age group. She'll be daunted by a request to "clean your room" (after all, consider the dozens of tasks that actually involves). "Please put your shoes in the closet," on the other hand, is manageable. You'll be amazed by how much pride and self-reliance she gains from undertaking such simple chores.

Show and tell. The best (and perhaps hardest) way to instill a sense of responsibility is to be a good role model with your own possessions — put your car keys where they belong instead of on the dining room table, and tidy up your stack of magazines instead of leaving them all over the couch. Another way to encourage your child is to show her how to accomplish simple tasks on her own. Saying, "Help me fold the laundry," makes less sense to her than a demonstration accompanied by, "See how I'm putting the socks in this pile and the underwear in this pile? Want to help me do that?" (Two-year-olds enjoy the Zen of sorting.) If you find yourself spending too much time showing your child how to perform a task, chances are it's too complicated for her.

Make the job a game. Remember learning about barn-raising parties, where the whole village would help a family build a barn, and then everyone would share a feast? We all enjoy tasks more when they're fun, social occasions. Your 2-year-old is happy to be spending time with you, and she doesn't view emptying the dryer as a chore — it's fun to pull out warm, fluffy clothes and pile them in a basket. Follow her lead and dance to music while you dust together, or have a race to see who can put away the most blocks.

Establish a routine. Your child will learn responsible habits more easily if you set a routine early on. Let her know that she should always put her own bowl in the sink after breakfast, and help put her tub toys away after every bath. She'll see that chores are a part of everyday life, not something grown-ups hand out on a whim.

Phrase things in a positive way. Jerry Wyckoff, a family psychologist and the coauthor of Twenty Teachable Virtues, suggests using what he calls "Grandma's rule" to engender responsibility in 2-year-olds. "Grandma's rule makes it clear that your household has rules that everyone follows," says Wyckoff. So instead of issuing an ultimatum ("If you don't, then you won't"), Grandma's rule says, "When you've done what you have to do, then you can do what you want to do." If your child says, "I want a cookie," respond with, "When you sit at the table, then you can have a cookie." Saying, "If you clean up your toys, I'll give you a treat," on the other hand, really just bribes your child for what should be normal behavior — and it raises the possibility that she'll decide she can live without the treat and thus pass on cleaning up her toys.

Give her space. For the sake of expediency, you may be tempted to grab your child's plate and put it in the dishwasher yourself. Try to resist this urge. Instead, concentrate more on your little one's efforts than on her actual accomplishments. She may not be doing a perfect job, but criticizing her or co-opting her chores will only squelch her desire to help. (And remind yourself that practice does make perfect.) Try phrasing your suggestions in an encouraging way: "You've done a really good job clearing your plate. I like to put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher, though, not back on the shelf."

Pour on the praise. Positive reinforcement will teach your child that her efforts are important and appreciated. Be specific with your praise: "You did so well putting Fluffy's food right in his bowl," as opposed to "Good job!" When appropriate, point out exactly how her efforts have helped everyone else: "Now that you've put the spoons on the table, we can all eat right away. Let's sit down!"

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parent Center: Chicken Pox ( age 2 to 4 )

My preschooler has a spotty red rash all over her chest. Could it be chicken pox?
It could be. Chicken pox, also called varicella, typically causes an itchy rash that starts out as small red bumps. These bumps quickly change into clear, fluid-filled blisters on a pink base, which eventually become dry brown crusts. New waves of blisters often spring up as the illness progresses.

The rash often appears first on the scalp, face, or trunk. It can then spread over the entire body. Children usually get between 250 and 500 blisters, although it's possible to have just a few.

Your preschooler will probably be tired and slightly feverish. She may have a loss of appetite and a mild headache or abdominal pain. For a couple of days before the rash appears, she may have a cough or a runny nose. Chicken pox usually lasts five to ten days.

How did my child get chicken pox?
Chicken pox is caused by the varicella zoster virus, which passes from person to person with remarkable ease. If your child hasn't received the chicken pox vaccine or had the illness herself, she's likely to come down with it if she's exposed to an infected person.

People with chicken pox can pass the virus along by touching someone after touching the blisters or coughing or sneezing onto their hand, or by releasing it into the air whenever they sneeze, cough, or even breathe. The virus can also spread from direct contact with the fluid from the blisters before they crust over.

Once your preschooler has been exposed to the virus, it usually takes 14 to 16 days for the pustules to appear, although they can show up anytime between ten and 21 days.

Is chicken pox dangerous?
For healthy children, chicken pox is usually more of a nuisance than a real threat. On rare occasions, though, even healthy children can develop serious complications from chicken pox, like a bacterial skin infection, pneumonia, or encephalitis, a swelling of the brain.

If your child has chicken pox, call the doctor if she seems sicker than expected, if she develops a fever after the first few days, if the rash spreads to her eyes, or if the skin around the pox becomes swollen, painful, or very red.

If your preschooler has a weakened immune system from a chronic illness such as leukemia or from taking high-dose oral steroids (for asthma, for example), the infection can cause grave complications. Some special protective measures, such as an injection of varicella zoster immune globulin or the varicella vaccine, can only be useful shortly after exposure. If your child's immune system is compromised, call her doctor at the first sign of chicken pox — or even if she's only been exposed to someone who's sick.

Adults who come down with chicken pox can get very sick and are at risk for such complications as bacterial pneumonia. If you're pregnant and have never had chicken pox, read our article on chicken pox during pregnancy and ask your doctor what precautions you should take and what to do if you've been exposed.

What are shingles?
The same virus that causes chicken pox can cause a painful rash called shingles. When a child has chicken pox, the virus remains in the body and can reappear as shingles many years later. This happens to about 1 in 10 adults who had chicken pox earlier in life.

Is there any way to prevent chicken pox?
Yes. A vaccine has been available since 1995, and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that children receive the shot at 12 to 15 months of age, with a second dose at 4 to 6 years. Talk with the doctor about a makeup schedule if your child missed her first vaccination.

The vaccine causes few side effects in healthy children and keeps more than 95 percent from getting a serious case of chicken pox. The shot isn't recommended if your preschooler has had a severe allergic reaction to gelatin (yes, the stuff that makes Jell-O hold together), the antibiotic neomycin, or a previous dose of the vaccine.

If your child has cancer or any disease that affects her immune system, has recently had a blood transfusion, or is taking high doses of oral steroids, her doctor will carefully evaluate whether receiving the vaccine would be a good idea.

See our article on the chicken pox vaccine for more information on the pros and cons of the shot.

How should I treat my child's chicken pox?
Keep your child home from daycare and preschool until all the sores have crusted over to prevent her from spreading the disease and to give her time to recuperate. Unfortunately, children are most contagious the day or two before the rash erupts, usually before parents know their child is sick.

While your child's recuperating, the most comforting thing you can do is relieve the itching. Give her a cool bath every three to four hours. Sprinkle baking soda or colloidal oatmeal (made specifically for the bath) into the water for added relief. (You can also use uncooked oats. Tie them in a cheesecloth bag and toss it in the tub.) After the bath, put calamine lotion on the itchy spots.

It may seem like an impossible task, but try to keep your child from picking and scratching her sores, which can slow the healing process. Sores that aren't allowed to heal can leave scars or lead to skin infections such as impetigo. Keeping your child's nails short can help.

Bring down your preschooler's fever with acetaminophen or ibuprofen. Never give aspirin to your child as it can trigger Reye's syndrome, a rare but potentially deadly condition.

If your child seems really uncomfortable, you might try giving her the proper dose of an over-the-counter children's antihistamine to help reduce the itching.

Doctors can prescribe an antiviral drug called acyclovir to treat chicken pox, but it's not generally recommended for otherwise healthy children. For children with weak immune systems, however, acyclovir can be crucial.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parent Center: Dry Skin(age 2 to 4)

What's making my preschooler's skin so dry?
Children can get dry skin just like adults do. In fact, because young skin is more delicate, it's more susceptible to becoming dry.

Cold, dry outdoor air and indoor heating can rob skin of its natural moisture in the winter. And if your preschooler is prone to dry skin, he'll break out in dry patches in the summer as well, because the summer sun, air conditioning, salt water, and the chlorine in pool water can all be drying.

What can I do about my child's dry skin?
Cut back on bath time
Bathing dries a child's skin because it removes the skin's natural oils along with the dirt. But as long as you take a few precautions, even daily baths shouldn't be a problem, says Seth Orlow, director of pediatric dermatology at New York University School of Medicine.

Instead of a 30-minute bath, cut bath time down to about ten minutes. Use warm water — not hot — and soap up sparingly. In fact, Orlow suggests using a fragrance-free, soap-free cleanser, which is much less harsh than regular soap.

Let your child have his playtime in the tub before you wash him, so he won't be sitting in soapy water. And don't leave the cleansing bar floating in the tub. You'll probably want to cut bubble baths out of your child's routine — or at least limit them to special occasions.

While bath oils may seem like a good idea, they can make the tub dangerously slippery, and most of the oil slides down the drain anyway. Applying an emollient after bathing is a better route.

Slather on the moisturizer
Once you take your child out of the bath, quickly and lightly dry him with a towel, then apply moisturizer immediately. Applying the moisturizer within minutes of getting your child out of the tub will seal in the water that's still in his skin from the bath.

As far as moisturizers go, the general rule is the thicker the better. If your child's skin is still dry even with daily moisturizing, try switching from a lotion to a thicker cream or ointment.

You might also want to consider moisturizing twice a day — once after bathing and once during the day. If your child doesn't have the patience for a midday slather, you might let him listen to a favorite song or watch a video while you apply the moisturizer.

Don't let salt or chlorine dry on his skin
Chlorine and salt water can both be very drying. After a swim in the pool or ocean, rinse off your child with tap water, and then apply moisturizer while his skin's still damp.

Keep your child well hydrated
Dry skin lacks water. Offer your child plenty to drink year-round to replace the moisture that's evaporating from his skin.

Keep in mind that drinking a lot won't do anything if you don't moisturize as well. It's like pouring water into a bucket with a hole, says Orlow. Without moisturizer to hold in the water, your child's skin won't properly hydrate.

Run a humidifier
If the air in your home is dry, use a cool mist humidifier in your child's room.

Protect your child from the elements
Make sure your child wears gloves or mittens in cold weather to keep his hands from becoming dry and chapped from the cold and the wind. In summer, take steps to protect him from sunburn.

What's making my preschooler's skin so dry?
Children can get dry skin just like adults do. In fact, because young skin is more delicate, it's more susceptible to becoming dry.

Cold, dry outdoor air and indoor heating can rob skin of its natural moisture in the winter. And if your preschooler is prone to dry skin, he'll break out in dry patches in the summer as well, because the summer sun, air conditioning, salt water, and the chlorine in pool water can all be drying.

What can I do about my child's dry skin?
Cut back on bath time
Bathing dries a child's skin because it removes the skin's natural oils along with the dirt. But as long as you take a few precautions, even daily baths shouldn't be a problem, says Seth Orlow, director of pediatric dermatology at New York University School of Medicine.

Instead of a 30-minute bath, cut bath time down to about ten minutes. Use warm water — not hot — and soap up sparingly. In fact, Orlow suggests using a fragrance-free, soap-free cleanser, which is much less harsh than regular soap.

Let your child have his playtime in the tub before you wash him, so he won't be sitting in soapy water. And don't leave the cleansing bar floating in the tub. You'll probably want to cut bubble baths out of your child's routine — or at least limit them to special occasions.

While bath oils may seem like a good idea, they can make the tub dangerously slippery, and most of the oil slides down the drain anyway. Applying an emollient after bathing is a better route.

Slather on the moisturizer
Once you take your child out of the bath, quickly and lightly dry him with a towel, then apply moisturizer immediately. Applying the moisturizer within minutes of getting your child out of the tub will seal in the water that's still in his skin from the bath.

As far as moisturizers go, the general rule is the thicker the better. If your child's skin is still dry even with daily moisturizing, try switching from a lotion to a thicker cream or ointment.

You might also want to consider moisturizing twice a day — once after bathing and once during the day. If your child doesn't have the patience for a midday slather, you might let him listen to a favorite song or watch a video while you apply the moisturizer.

Don't let salt or chlorine dry on his skin
Chlorine and salt water can both be very drying. After a swim in the pool or ocean, rinse off your child with tap water, and then apply moisturizer while his skin's still damp.

Keep your child well hydrated
Dry skin lacks water. Offer your child plenty to drink year-round to replace the moisture that's evaporating from his skin.

Keep in mind that drinking a lot won't do anything if you don't moisturize as well. It's like pouring water into a bucket with a hole, says Orlow. Without moisturizer to hold in the water, your child's skin won't properly hydrate.

Run a humidifier
If the air in your home is dry, use a cool mist humidifier in your child's room.

Protect your child from the elements
Make sure your child wears gloves or mittens in cold weather to keep his hands from becoming dry and chapped from the cold and the wind. In summer, take steps to protect him from sunburn.

Could dry skin be a sign of some other kind of condition?
If your child has itchy red patches on his skin, it's possible he has eczema, also known as atopic dermatitis. Sometimes even eczema will clear up with regular moisturizing, though, so you needn't rush to the doctor unless the patches don't get better or your child is itchy or uncomfortable.

In rare cases, dry skin can indicate a genetic condition called ichthyosis. Ichthyosis shows up as dry skin with scaling and, occasionally, redness. It's also generally accompanied by a thickening of the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet. If your doctor suspects that your child has ichthyosis, she'll probably refer you to a dermatologist for treatment.

Should I talk with the doctor about my child's dry skin?
At your child's next doctor's visit, ask for recommendations for battling dry skin. Schedule a visit if you think your preschooler has signs of eczema or ichthyosis (above). Also call for an appointment if your child's skin doesn't improve with home treatments or you see any signs of an infection, like a yellow discharge or swelling around a crack in his skin.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parent Center: Eczema (age 2 to 4)

My preschooler has scaly, itchy red patches on his skin. What is this ugly rash?
It sounds like eczema (also called atopic dermatitis), a skin rash that tends to appear in a child's first five years. At this age, eczema is most likely to show up on the arms, legs, and trunk, but it can also affect other parts of the body. Your child's rash might look like dry, thickened, scaly skin, or it might be made up of tiny red bumps that can blister, ooze, or become infected if scratched.

Eczema isn't contagious, but because it's intensely itchy, scratching can be a problem. And the rash can be unsightly, so it may present a social challenge for your child as well, especially as he gets a little older.

What causes eczema?
No one knows for sure, but we do know that the tendency to have eczema is often inherited. So your child is more likely to have it if you or a close family member has had eczema, asthma, or allergies.

Eczema is not an allergic reaction to a substance, but it can be provoked by allergens in your child's diet or environment. The rash can also be aggravated by heat, irritants that come in contact with your child's skin (like wool or the chemicals in some soaps, lotions, and detergents), changes in temperature, and dry skin.

How common is eczema in children?
About 20 percent of infants and young children have eczema. It usually starts in infancy, with 65 percent of patients developing symptoms in the first year of life and 90 percent developing symptoms before age 5. In about 60 percent of cases, the condition persists into adulthood.

What can I do to treat my child's eczema?
Taking good care of your preschooler's skin is crucial. Here are some tips:

• Try to keep your child's skin from becoming too dry. Talk with his doctor about how often to bathe him. Many experts now believe that daily bathing can be helpful for children with eczema. Just don't make the water too warm, because very warm water dries out the skin faster than lukewarm water.

Use mild soaps, and wash and shampoo your child at the end of his bath so he isn't sitting in soapy water. As soon as you get your child out of the tub, pat his skin dry (don't rub), and then apply plenty of moisturizing ointment, cream, or lotion within the first few minutes.

• Allow your child's skin to breathe (and not become overheated) by dressing him in smooth natural fabrics, like cotton. Avoid wool and other scratchy materials, which can irritate his very sensitive skin.

• Switch to mild, fragrance-free soaps and shampoos, or those made for sensitive skin. Use mild, fragrance-free detergent for washing your preschooler's clothes and bedding.

• Rapid changes in temperature can make eczema worse, so try not to let your child get too hot and then cool quickly, or vice versa.

• Pollen, dust mites, and animal dander can also trigger or worsen eczema. You may want to consult an allergist, who can provide tips on how to reduce allergens in your home. These may include more efficient ways of vacuuming and dusting, using air filters, and possibly getting rid of carpets and upholstered furniture.

• Help your child avoid scratching. He may try to get relief by scratching with his hands or by rubbing his face against his sheet when he sleeps. But scratching and rubbing can further irritate or inflame his skin and make matters much worse.

Use the softest sheets possible on his bed, and keep his nails short. Put him to bed with cotton mittens or socks on his hands, if he'll tolerate them.

If your child has a lot of trouble sleeping because of the itching, talk with his doctor. She may suggest an antihistamine that will cut down on the itchy feeling and make your child more drowsy, too.

• During a flare-up, you can try applying cool compresses to the affected area, followed by a moisturizer.

Could my child's eczema be caused by a certain food?
Eczema is not a specific allergy, but in some children, certain allergenic foods can trigger eczema or make it worse.

If you or your doctor suspects that your child's eczema is affected by certain foods, the mostly likely culprits are cow's milk and eggs, followed by soy, wheat, peanuts, and fish. You may want to try eliminating suspect foods from your child's diet one at a time, giving each test a couple of weeks because it can take that long to get all traces of the food out of your child's system.

Keep in mind that while food may be a trigger in as many as 30 percent of children with eczema, it's the main trigger in only about 10 percent of eczema cases. You'll still want to be conscientious about skin care and other factors.

What should I do if the rash doesn't get better?
Talk with your child's doctor or a pediatric dermatologist. If the rash doesn't get better with the suggestions above, your doctor might suggest trying mild topical steroids, which can be bought over the counter. A steroid cream or ointment sometimes works wonders to help break a stubborn cycle of eczema.

A short course of oral steroid medication can help get eczema enough under control that the other methods you try will work more effectively. Researchers are developing new drugs to help eczema sufferers, like topical immunomodulators, so if your child continues to struggle with the condition, ask his doctor to keep you up-to-date on remedies.

Be sure to give the doctor a call if your child develops a fever or other signs that he may have an infection (the area is warm to the touch or oozing, for example).

You may also want to talk with your child's preschool providers and other caregivers about his eczema. Explain that the rash is not contagious, but that it may prompt teasing of your child.

Encourage your child to talk about his feelings related to his eczema, and be a good listener. Role-play how he might explain his condition to his buddies. If you think he needs more help, talk with his doctor about counseling.

Will my child always have eczema?
Maybe. Many kids outgrow eczema, but there's no way to know ahead of time.

The good news is that the condition usually becomes less severe with age. And there are ways to manage it. By following the measures mentioned above and treating any flare-ups immediately, you can help keep your child's eczema under control.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Cookbooks For Feeding Fussy Eaters (age 2 to 4)

Your child may prefer to live on chicken fingers and American cheese slices, but you'd feel better if she were eating a more balanced diet. Unfortunately, just because you manage to get all the food groups onto a plate at mealtime doesn't mean they're going to make it into the hungry mouth of your little one. If you've got a fussy eater, consider one of these kid-tested cookbooks below. Some even offer recipes that your youngster can help you make.

One Bite Won't Kill You
By Ann Hodgman and Roz Chast, illustrator. (1999, Houghton Mifflin Co., $15. Reading level: Adult)

The title of this book is a promise kept by the fun recipes inside. Author and mother of two fussy eaters, Ann Hodgman delivers comforting foods that will satisfy kids' finicky palates and save tired cooks by relying on ready-made ingredients like canned soup or muffin mix. Packed with recipes, anecdotes about teaching kids to broaden their culinary horizons, and hysterical cartoons and illustrations by New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast, one look at this book will make it a favorite.

Pretend Soup and Other Real Recipes: A Cookbook for Preschoolers & Up
By Mollie Katzen and Ann L. Henderson (1994, Tricycle Press, $17. Reading level: Ages 4 to 8)

Inviting your child into the kitchen to help prepare meals is one way to quell the demands of a finicky eater. Vegetarian foodie Mollie Katzen (author of The Moosewood Cookbook) and educator Ann Henderson have teamed up to create a kid-friendly, nutritionally mindful, and parent-perfect book. Each of the 19 recipes starts with individual instructions for both the adult and child, is illustrated with cute animals, and includes insider reviews from kids who have tried the recipes and give them a thumbs-up. Kids will love the easy-to-follow step-by-step illustrations.

Brown Bag Success: Making Healthy Lunches Your Kids Won't Trade
By Sandra K. Nissenberg and Barbara N. Pearl (1997, John Wiley & Sons, $10. Reading level: Ages 9 to 12)

There you are, carefully crafting brown bag lunches for your children, and just a few hours later, they're picking them over and discarding the contents. Written at a level kids can understand, the book offers plenty of recipes for fun, packable lunches, like cheese and flour tortilla triangles and ham and cheese pinwheels, along with nutritional tips and hints on getting out the door in the morning with minimal stress.

Healthy Snacks for Kids
By Penny Warner (1995, Nitty Gritty Cookbooks, $9. Reading level: Adult)

If your child's appetite seems to surge without warning, this book will help you produce tasty, fun, and nutritious snacks in a snap. Recipes like Corny Pudding and Monkey Bars sneak healthy ingredients into foods that will keep your kids happy, too. Warner also includes a food pyramid for each recipe with main ingredients highlighted to make nutritional choices easy.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

The Lowdown On Children's Vitamins (age2 to 4)

Should I give my preschooler a vitamin supplement?
Experts disagree on whether a daily multivitamin/mineral supplement is a good idea for all children. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), for example, advises giving your child a supplement only if your pediatrician recommends one. Because so many common foods are fortified, most children don't need supplements, the AAP argues. On the other hand, the AAP acknowledges that a multivitamin/mineral supplement won't hurt as long as it doesn't exceed the recommended daily allowance (RDA) for any vitamin or mineral. Other experts say that a daily supplement is a good way to fill in any gaps in your child's nutrition.

Most experts do agree that:

• As long as you don't overdose your child on supplements (exceed the RDA for any one vitamin or mineral), a daily won't hurt.

• Some children — like vegetarians, or those with sensitivities to certain foods, for example — might need a daily vitamin/mineral supplement to meet their RDAs.

• Supplements are not a substitute for good food, and they should never be used to justify a poor diet. If your child isn't eating well, give him a supplement, but also take steps to improve his eating habits.

The bottom line is that if you're concerned that your preschooler isn't getting a balanced diet by meeting all the requirements in the Food Guide Pyramid, a dailly multivitamin/mineral supplement can't hurt. Just don't give your child more than one a day or neglect to focus on good nutrition at the same time.

Should I give my preschooler a vitamin if he's a picky eater?
If you're concerned that your child's lacking in any area — because he won't put anything green in his mouth or because he goes on food jags when he seems to eat nothing but mac and cheese for days — then you might want to give him a supplement for your peace of mind. It provides a little extra insurance that he's getting what he needs, says Debby Demory-Luce, a registered dietitian with the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Agricultural Research Service, a nutrition arm of the agency, and an instructor of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine. As long as you give your preschooler just one daily multi, he won't "overdose" on a particular vitamin, even if he's already getting more than he needs of that vitamin from his food.

What kind of vitamin should I give my child?
Any generic type of children's multivitamin (chewable or liquid form) will do, unless your preschooler has special needs. For example, if your child is a vegetarian, you'll want to make sure that the supplement contains vitamin B12, which will be lacking in his diet. And if your doctor has decided that your child is anemic, she may recommend a supplement with a particular amount of iron.

Note that supplements often don't contain 100 percent of every vitamin and mineral, so you'll still want to make sure your child gets the needed vitamin or mineral from food sources. If your preschooler doesn't drink milk or eat enough dairy, for example, and only gets about 15 to 20 percent of the RDA for calcium from his supplement, then you'll need to find other, food-based sources, such as calcium-fortified orange juice.

An important caution: Children often view vitamins as candy (they're shaped, colored, and flavored to be appealing to kids, after all) and may eat several at a time if given the opportunity. But an overdose of iron, in particular, could be fatal. So treat vitamins as medicines. Make sure the caps are childproof, but don't depend on them — always keep vitamin bottles well out of the reach of your child.

Registered dietitian Demory-Luce, mother of two, learned this the hard way: "My youngster got his hands on a bottle of vitamins, opened the safety top, and ate ten vitamins before I got to him," she says. "Luckily, the vitamins didn't have iron in them." Now she keeps vitamins locked away in a cabinet. (To be safe, call poison control if you suspect that your child has taken vitamins on his own, even if they don't contain iron.)

Should I give my preschooler more than one vitamin a day if his diet is especially bad one week?
No. There's never any reason to give your child more than the recommended daily dose (usually one pill per day). "Some people think that a little is good but more is better," says Demory-Luce. This is a dangerous way to approach vitamins. Not only could it hurt your child, as with too much iron, but an overdose of certain vitamins could also prevent the absorption of others, creating a nutritional imbalance.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How To Avoid Making Meals A Power Struggle(age 2 to 4)

How can I avoid arguing with my child over food every time we sit down to eat?
For many families, sitting down for a meal together often means fighting over food — what's on the menu, who's eating (or not eating) what and how much. But who wants that night after night? To avoid mealtime squabbles, try not to talk about food at the table. Merely serve the meal without comment. Of course, if your child is a picky eater, holding your tongue can require a lot of restraint. But your child will benefit in the long run if you don't harp on his eating habits throughout the meal. "It's your child's decision whether or not to eat, what to eat from what is being offered, and how much of it," says Nancy Hudson, a registered dietitian at the University of California at Berkeley.

But what do I do if my child refuses to eat what I serve?
Your mom may have rewarded you for cleaning your plate with a bowl of ice cream after dinner, but that just taught you that veggies were the punishment and dessert was the reward. Instead, try this approach: Serve at least one food you know your kid likes; don't discuss eating habits; and clear the table when the meal is over — even if your child doesn't eat all his food. If he wants dessert, give it to him without much fanfare, but vary what you serve — some nights dessert is ice cream, some nights it's fruit.

How can I tell if my child is eating well enough?
Remember that ultimately, your child is the one in control over what he puts into his body. If you decide for your child when he's hungry or when he's had enough to eat, "He won't learn to recognize when he's hungry and when he's done, and you're setting him up for eating problems later, such as obesity, overeating, or controlling food," says Hudson. "Children are amazingly good at self-regulation. They may eat almost nothing one day, and then the next day they eat a ton of food." But when you look at their consumption over a week or a month's time, they do a pretty good job of getting what they need from different food groups — as long as you offer them a variety from which to choose. So, pull up a chair, relax, and try to enjoy your meal. If you do, your child will, too.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How To Handle A Picky Eater(age 2 to 4)

Why is my child such a picky eater?

It's perfectly normal for preschoolers to object to the shape, color, or texture of a food — or to suddenly decide that they hate everything, even foods they loved yesterday. It's also common for them to have what experts call food jags. That is, they insist on eating the same few foods at every meal.

"It's a fear of new things," says Nancy Hudson, a registered dietitian at the University of California, Berkeley. "We think it's one of those quirks that humans probably developed to protect themselves as mankind evolved. You don't try new things because you don't know if they're safe." This fear of new things usually tapers off by age 4, but for some children it continues into adulthood. At any rate, whether it's his bedtime routine or his peanut butter sandwich cut on the diagonal, your child probably likes things to be consistent and familiar — so he may not be willing to try new foods until you've served them numerous times.

Picky eating can also be a preschooler's way of declaring his independence ("You can't make me eat that") and may have less to do with the actual food than a need to push the limits of your authority and assert some control over his life. Finally, because preschoolers are a wiggly lot, it may seem as though your child can't sit still long enough to eat very much at one sitting. You can try to keep your child interested in his food longer by making mealtime as calm and uneventful as possible, without distractions from toys, television, or pets.

Tips for introducing new foods to a picky eater
Your child has an innate sense of how much food his body needs to grow and be healthy, and it's up to him to decide what he's going to eat. The best thing you can do is to provide a wide variety of healthy foods in a positive, relaxed environment so mealtimes will be enjoyable for everyone. Here are some specific tips on how to handle a picky eater:

• Provide a variety of good foods for your preschooler to eat at each meal. Keep in mind that it takes numerous exposures to a new food for a child to see it as familiar enough to try. So be patient. When you do offer a new food, simply place it on the dinner table with everything else, and don't make a big deal about it. Don't put it right on your child's plate, which may seem threatening or cause him to rebel. Eventually, after he's seen you eat the food a few times, he may feel more open to trying it himself.

• Serve child-size portions. For example, two slices of bread provides the daily grain requirements for a 2- or 3-year old, and 2 tablespoons of peanut butter (just enough to barely cover two slices of bread) give a young child about half the recommended amount of daily protein.

• Don't give your preschooler too many options at mealtime. If you say "It's dinnertime. What do you want to eat?" your child will probably choose something familiar, and he'll seem like a picky eater, says Hudson. However, if you say "Here's dinner," he'll have to choose from among the foods you're offering. Of course, you won't want to offer an entire meal of unfamiliar foods because your child simply won't eat them. Instead, always offer a meal that includes at least one thing you know your child likes.

• When introducing new foods, don't present them in large quantities. If by some miracle your preschooler is interested in trying a new food, give him just a taste and let him ask for more. That way he'll feel more in control and you won't feel like you're wasting food if he doesn't eat it. When you can, give him a new food to try when you know he's hungry — slices of mango when he has the afternoon munchies, for example.

• Keep in mind that some children's palates are more sensitive than others', and they simply won't like the texture, color, or taste of some foods. That's why a child might claim to dislike a food he has never even tried. Likewise, some children may reject a food because it reminds them of a time when they were sick or because they have some other negative association with it. If your preschooler complains that a particular food will make him sick, stop offering that food for a while. You can try again when he's a bit older.

• Whenever possible, let your preschooler be involved in food decisions and preparations, including shopping and making meals and snacks. (And if he can help you grow some of the family's produce in the yard, so much the better!) This will give him a sense of control over his diet. And he'll be more likely to eat something that he's chosen, or prepared, for himself. (This works best if you let your child choose from a small selection of foods you've already identified rather than just asking him to pick his supper.) Make fun, healthful treats together — like yogurt-and-fruit banana splits or ants on a log (raisins placed on top of peanut butter-filled celery sticks).

• Look for ways to boost the nutritional value of the foods your preschooler enjoys. Put some tuna or ham on his grilled cheese, or meat or tofu in his spaghetti sauce, for example.

• Teach your child (without lecturing) about good nutrition. Hang a food chart in the kitchen and have him color in the requirements as he meets them each day, and mention nonchalantly that his oatmeal will help him run and jump better this morning.

• Don't cater too much to your preschooler's pickiness. While it was fine to indulge your toddler's desire to have his cheese sandwiches cut into star or moon shapes, your preschooler is getting old enough to eat without special gimmicks.

• As your child's world expands and he begins attending preschool, his taste in foods might broaden as well. It's not uncommon for children to be more open to new foods when they're away from home.

How can I get my child to eat a wider variety of foods?
It's unrealistic to expect a preschooler to eat a wide range of foods. In the long run, the example you set by serving and enjoying all sorts of healthy foods — at home and on the go — is one of the best ways to help your child learn to eat well. But for now, try to remember that your child's choice to eat only a few foods is just that — his choice, and it's important to let him learn to make his own decisions about food.

"A child needs to be in control of what he eats," says Hudson. If you force your preschooler to eat a food he doesn't like ("You'll sit at the table until you finish your peas"), or more than he wants, you could be setting him up for problems later: Children who are never allowed to make food decisions for themselves (such as deciding when they're full) are at a greater risk for developing eating disorders or becoming obese later in life. What's more, your strategy will almost always backfire because forcing your child to try new foods will only make him more stubborn and less open to trying new things in the future.

If your preschooler seems to be eating nothing but cheese and crackers for days on end, don't worry. Start keeping a record of what your child eats — you'll probably find that he's hitting all the major food groups and getting the necessary nutrients over the course of a week. Studies from the American Dietetic Association show that children — even those whose parents consider them "picky eaters" — generally consume a wide enough variety of foods to meet their nutritional requirements. If you really don't think your preschooler is eating well, ask your doctor whether it makes sense to give him a daily multivitamin.

How can I tell whether my child is really getting enough to eat if he's not growing?
Don't panic if it seems like your preschooler isn't growing fast enough. Children don't always grow at a steady pace, and there will be times when your child doesn't seem to be growing at all. Keep in touch with your doctor if you're concerned, but don't convey your fears to your child. If you're constantly hovering at mealtime, wheedling, cajoling, and counting calories, he's likely to become even more resistant to eating. Also keep in mind that your child's appetite will vary, depending on things like his activity level and whether or not he's having a growth spurt.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How To Teach Your Preschooler To Share (age 3 to 4)

What to expect at this age
"You can't have it!" your preschooler shouts as he grabs his toy truck from his playmate. No sooner have you smoothed out that squabble than another erupts. "No!" he yells as his visitor heads toward his rock collection. Why doesn't your child know how to share?

Well, he knows; he just isn't very consistent about doing it. Your preschooler may spend hours a day playing with other children, he can take turns in games, and he's less self-centered than he was a year or two ago. But he's still impulsive and doesn't have a very good grasp of time, so waiting while his playmate takes a turn with a coveted toy is trying for him. On the other hand, many preschoolers love to draw pictures for teachers, make presents for parents, and share snacks with friends. "Preschoolers are just learning that it feels good to give and that it's fun to share with friends," says Roni Leiderman, associate dean of the Family Center at Nova Southeastern University in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. You can sow the seeds of sharing by encouraging these displays of generosity and by gently discouraging your child's less-charitable impulses.

What to do
Make sharing fun. Teach your preschooler cooperative games in which players work together toward a common goal. Do puzzles together, taking turns adding pieces, for instance. Share projects, too: Plant the garden, paint the fence, or hose down the car with him. Finally, give him things to share with his buddies now and then, like a special snack for preschool or a roll of stickers to divvy up during a playdate.

Don't punish stinginess. If you tell your preschooler that he's selfish, discipline him when he doesn't share, or force him to hand over a prized possession, you'll foster resentment, not generosity. "To encourage sharing, use positive reinforcement rather than admonishment," Leiderman says. Keep in mind, too, that it's okay for your preschooler to hold back certain items. As he matures, he'll learn that sharing with friends — who are becoming increasingly important to him — is more fun than keeping things to himself.

Talk it up. When kids squabble over toys, help them figure out what's really going on. If a friend is holding something back, explain to your child how his buddy might be feeling. For instance: "Josh really likes that toy, and he doesn't want anyone to play with it right now." Help your preschooler put his own feelings into words too. When he's not acting especially generous, ask him what's up. Maybe you'll discover that there's a shortage of train tracks at his preschool or that he especially prizes his Pokémon cards because they were a present from Grandpa.

Teach your preschooler to problem-solve. If your child has a death grip on a toy truck that his playmate wants, chances are he's thinking, "It's either him or me." The concept of sharing the truck may not even have occurred to him. Encourage your preschooler to take turns with the truck (setting a kitchen timer to mark each child's turn may help), reassure him that sharing isn't the same as giving away, and point out that if he shares his toys with friends, they'll be more inclined to share theirs with him.

Set the stage. Before a playdate, ask your preschooler if there's anything he'd rather not share, and help him find a good place to keep those special toys. Then ask him to think of some things that would be fun for him and his visitor to play with together, such as toy walkie-talkies, art and craft supplies, building blocks, and sports equipment. That will put him in a sharing frame of mind when his guest arrives. Ask his pal to bring along a toy or two of his own as well, since your preschooler may be more generous if he's not the only one doing the giving.

Respect your preschooler's things. If your youngster feels that his clothes, books, and toys are being manhandled, it's unlikely that he'll give them up even for a moment. So ask permission before you borrow his colored pencils, and give him the option of saying no. Make sure that siblings, friends, and babysitters respect his things too, by asking if they can use them and by taking good care of them when they do.

Lead by example. The best way for your preschooler to learn generosity is to witness it. So share your ice cream with him. Offer him your scarf to fashion into a superhero's cape, and ask if you can try on his new cap. Use the word share to describe what you're doing, and don't forget to teach him that intangibles (like feelings, ideas, and stories) can be shared too. Most important, let him see you give and take, compromise, and share with others.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com