Parents Center-Developmental Milestone: Self-care (age 6 to 8)

Self-care: What to expect when
As your child gets older he'll learn — and want — to do more things for himself, from popping waffles in the toaster to breaking out the vacuum cleaner to tidy up his bedroom (you hope!). While watching your child grow increasingly independent can be bittersweet, learning to take care of himself is an important part of your child's personal and social development.

Skills he'll work at
Taking a bath or shower: At this age a lot of children are comfortable taking a bath or shower on their own, though you don't want to be too far away, says Denise Aloisio, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician in Rochester, New York. Stay within earshot in case your child needs a hand. Aloisio also recommends that parents lower the temperature on the family's hot-water heater to no more than 120 degrees Fahrenheit, so a child can't accidentally scald himself. And always encourage your child always to turn the cold water on first.

Preparing breakfast: Six-year-olds can fix themselves cold cereal and pour juice or milk. Eight-year-olds are probably ready to use the toaster oven for heating muffins, bagels, and other breakfast items.

Packing his backpack: By the time your child is about 8, he should be able to pack his schoolbag with all the necessities for the day, such as books, food, musical instruments, and sports gear. Until then, you'll want to help him gather the right stuff.

Making his lunch: With limited choices and some guidance from you, your school-age child is capable of packing his own lunch. Take a peek to make sure that what he's bringing to school is, for the most part, nutritious — no potato chip-marshmallow sandwiches, for instance.

Helping out around the house: Children this age can pick up their toys, make their beds, and clean their rooms — they can even take the vacuum cleaner out for a spin. They can also lend a hand with tasks in the kitchen and garden.

What you can do
Always, encouragement is key. Whenever your child tries his hand at a new skill, tell him you're proud he made the effort (regardless of the result) and urge him to try again. Don't always jump in to help; it's essential that he have enough time to master tasks on his own, at his own pace. Try not to pressure him before he's ready, either. Be flexible — if making his own lunch means bologna every day for a week, so be it. More important things, like independence and self-sufficiency, are at stake. If he misses a few sections of carpet as he vacuums, let it go. The more he practices his new skills, the better he'll get.

Keep a watchful eye on your child as he experiments with doing things he hasn't tried before, and explain why he can't do everything for himself. Tell him, for instance, why it's not safe for him to walk to his friend's house alone, or why he can't fire up the barbecue just yet. He probably won't be happy about it, but he'll understand your reasoning.

What to watch out for
Children develop skills differently, some more quickly than others, but if your child actively resists attempting any of the tasks above or shows no interest in learning them, talk to his pediatrician.

What's ahead
As the years roll by, your child will get better and better at taking care of himself. At around age 10 or 11, he'll be able to stay home alone, for instance, for short periods and with clear instructions. Then it's simply a matter of time before he can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive himself to soccer practice — or, better yet, bring you breakfast in bed.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center-Developmental Milestone: Self-care (age 5)

Self-care: What to expect when
As your child gets older she'll learn — and want — to do more things for herself, from tying her shoelaces and taking a bath to making her bed and setting the table. While watching your kindergartner grow increasingly independent can be bittersweet, learning to take care of herself is an important part of her personal and social development.

Skills she'll work at
Dressing and undressing: Kindergartners should be up to the challenge of zippers, buttons, and clasps. And it's at this age that your child will learn how to tie her shoes, though some children don't get the hang of it until around age 6.

Using the toilet: By the time your child enters kindergarten, she should be completely self-sufficient in the bathroom, though she still may not be proficient at wiping.

Taking a bath: Some children this age may want to bathe on their own, though they will need assistance with washing their body and hair. Give your kindergartner the illusion of independence by getting the bathwater ready and then staying in the background, but within earshot in case she needs a hand, says Denise Aloisio, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician in Rochester, New York. Aloisio also recommends that parents lower the temperature on the family's hot-water heater to no more than 120 degrees Fahrenheit, so a child can't accidentally scald herself. And teach your child always to turn the cold water on first.

Preparing breakfast: Five-year-olds should be able to fix themselves cold cereal and pour some juice or milk, but you should still expect some spills.

Packing her backpack: Kindergartners feel very grown up about packing their bag for school. You'll probably need to check, though, to make sure that essentials such as sweaters, raincoats, and lunches are not left out.

Helping out around the house: Children this age can pick up their toys, make their beds, and clean up their bedrooms. They can also lend you and your partner a hand with simple tasks in the kitchen and garden. Many youngsters, for instance, love to stir the brownie mix or water flowers.

What you can do
Always, encouragement is key. Whenever your child tries her hand at a new skill, tell her you're proud she made the effort (regardless of the result) and urge her to try again. Don't always jump in to help; it's essential that she have enough time to master tasks on her own, at her own pace. Try not to pressure her before she's ready, either. Be flexible — if packing her backpack prolongs the process of getting ready for school, build in extra time. If tying her shoelaces seems to take all day, don't sweat it. The more she practices these newfound skills, the more accomplished she'll get. Lastly, try not to do jobs over again after your child. She will notice, for example, if you always remake her bed. You're sending the message that she didn't do it correctly. It's more important for her to get a lot of practice than it is to get it right.

Keep a watchful eye on your child as she experiments with things she hasn't tried before, and explain why she can't do everything for herself. Tell her, for instance, why it's not safe for her to turn on the oven or cut her own bread with the bread knife. She may not be happy about it, but she'll understand.

What to watch out for
Children develop skills differently, some more quickly than others, but if your child actively resists attempting any of the tasks above or shows no interest in learning them, talk to her pediatrician.

What's ahead
As the years roll by, your child will get better and better at taking care of herself. She'll be able to make toast for breakfast, and then it's just a matter of time before she can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive herself to soccer practice.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center-Developmental Milestone: Self-care (age 3 to 4)

Self-care: What to expect when
As your child grows older, he'll learn — and want — to do more things for himself, from brushing his teeth to getting his own bowl of cereal. While watching your preschooler become increasingly independent can be bittersweet, learning to take care of himself is an important part of his personal and social development.

Skills he'll work at
Using a fork and spoon: By the time your child is 4, he should be able to hold a fork and spoon like an adult. With some guidance from you, he can also get a handle on how to use a knife. And — joy of joys — he'll be ready to learn table manners.

Dressing and undressing: Preschoolers should be able to put their clothes on and take them off without too much trouble. Zippers, buttons, snaps, and clasps on overalls still may be tough; while many preschoolers can undo these with ease, they will probably need help with fastening. Velcro, on the other hand, is easy for little hands to manipulate. Many children this age can put on their shoes without help if they have Velcro straps.

Brushing teeth: Most children get fairly adept at toothbrushing sometime between their third and fourth birthdays, but they still need your help and supervision. It takes quite a bit of coordination for your child to hold a toothbrush and maneuver it around his mouth so that he's really cleaning in there. But let him do his bit — it makes him feel grown up and helps him develop a good habit for life. And make sure he uses only a pea-size drop of fluoride toothpaste; he's apt to swallow some instead of spitting it all out, and too much fluoride is not a good thing.

Using the toilet: Most children are toilet trained by about age 3, though some aren't ready until age 4. As a toddler your child probably used a potty rather than a toilet. Now he needs to get comfortable using the toilet both at home and elsewhere. Little boys typically sit down to urinate in the early stages of toilet training, but as preschoolers they'll want to copy their dads, older brothers, and friends, who stand up to urinate. Also at this age, your child may develop the ability to stay dry at night if he hasn't done so already.

Preparing breakfast: Children as young as 3 may be able to get their own cereal for breakfast, especially if they're hungry. The more he practices, the better he'll get. If your child wants to get his own breakfast, make it easy for him by leaving kid-size containers of cereal and milk on the counter and in the fridge in spots he can reach. Then brace yourself for some spills — they're worth it in the long run.

Helping out around the house: Children this age can help by picking up their toys (though they'd usually rather not), and 4-year-olds can begin making their beds. They can also lend you and your partner a hand with simple tasks in the kitchen and around the yard. Many preschoolers, for instance, love to help stir the muffin mix or water the garden. Instead of allowing yourself to get into a power struggle with your preschooler, encourage him to help rather than insisting. You can accomplish a lot through long-term encouragement.

What you can do
Encouragement is key. When your preschooler tries his hand at a new skill, tell him you're proud he tried (regardless of the result) and urge him to try again. Don't always jump in to help; it's essential that he have enough time to master tasks on his own, at his own pace. Try not to pressure him before he's ready, either. And be flexible: If allowing him to prepare his own breakfast means you'll have to sweep cereal off the floor, go with the flow. If he's years away from perfecting hospital corners on his bed, don't sweat it. Just buy fitted sheets and a comforter so bed making is a cinch.

Keep a watchful eye on your child as he begins to experiment with doing things he hasn't tried before, and explain why he can't do everything for himself. Tell him, for example, why it's not safe for him to turn on the oven or cut his own bread with the bread knife. He may not be happy about it, but he'll understand.

What to watch out for
Children develop skills differently, some more quickly than others, but if your child actively resists attempting any of the tasks above or shows no interest in learning them, talk to his pediatrician.

What's ahead
As the years roll by, your child will get better and better at taking care of himself. He'll be able to tie his shoes and take a shower or bath on his own, and then it's simply a matter of time before he can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive himself to soccer practice.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center-Developmental Milestone: Self-care (age 2)

Self-care: What to expect when
When your child was a baby, you did everything for her. You changed her diapers, wiped her face when she spat up, and burped her after meals. But as she gets older, she'll learn to do more things for herself, from pulling off her shirt to getting her own bowl of cereal. This is the "I want to do it myself" age. Watching your child grow increasingly independent can be bittersweet, but learning to take care of herself is an important part of your child's personal and social development.

Skills she'll work at
Undressing: While your child may already know how to undress herself, around now she's likely to go through several clothing changes a day (just because she can), and that's fine — 2-year-olds are notoriously messy anyway and often end up with their clothes streaked with food or finger paint. On the flip side, though, if your child resists changing her clothes when you want her to, consider giving up. This is the time to relax your expectations a bit.

Catching a sneeze:Your child can start to follow some basic rules of hygiene. An important one: sneezing into her elbow, as opposed to her hand or the air. Preschools teach this technique to keep children from spraying germs everywhere and passing along germs by touch.

Brushing her teeth: Many 2-year-olds insist on brushing their teeth. Let your child make a first pass, but follow up with a more thorough cleaning yourself. And make sure she uses only a pea-size drop of fluoride toothpaste; she's apt to swallow some instead of spitting it all out, and too much fluoride is not a good thing. Your child won't be capable of adequate toothbrushing until much later, possibly not until she's 6 or 7. It takes quite a bit of coordination for a child to hold a toothbrush and maneuver it around her mouth so she's really cleaning in there. But let her do her bit; it makes her feel grown up and gets her into a good habit for life.

Using the toilet: Some children develop the physical and cognitive skills necessary to begin toilet training by around 18 to 24 months, while others aren't ready until age 3 or 4. Your child will let you know when it's time. For more, see Toilet Training in Three Easy Steps.

Preparing breakfast: Your 2-year-old may not be capable of fetching a bowl, filling it with cereal, and pouring on the milk all by herself, and you may not be capable of watching her try. But you can break down these tasks and let her do as much as possible. For example, have her bring you a plastic bowl (from a low cabinet), and after you've poured the cereal, let her pour the milk from a measuring cup. You can also encourage your child's independence by putting healthy snacks within her reach so she can get them on her own. She may drop some on the floor, but applaud her efforts anyway.

What you can do
Encouragement is key. Whenever your child tries her hand at a new skill, tell her you're proud she tried (regardless of the result) and urge her to try again. Don't always jump in to help; it's essential that she have enough time to master tasks on her own, at her own pace. Try not to pressure her before she's ready, either. And be flexible: If allowing her to prepare her own breakfast means you'll have to sweep cereal off the floor, go with the flow.

What to watch out for
Children develop skills differently, some more quickly than others, but if your child hasn't shown interest in doing anything for herself by the time she's 2, or if she seems incapable of handling the most basic tasks such as feeding herself with utensils, talk to her pediatrician.

What's ahead
Advances in self-care skills come fast and furious during the preschool years. Most kids have mastered the basics of self-care — dressing, washing their hands, feeding themselves, and going to the bathroom (but not necessarily wiping!) — by their fourth birthday. As the months and years roll by, your child will get better and better at meeting her own needs. You'll blink, a few years will go by, and she'll be able to tie her shoes and shower or bathe by herself. Then it's just a matter of time until she can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive herself to soccer practice. By then you'll be wishing she'd let you baby her once in a while, but her refusal to give up her autonomy will be a testament to your success in teaching her to care for herself.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Toddler Milestone: Self-care

Self-care
As your child gets older, she'll learn to do more things for herself — from taking off her shirt to getting her own bowl of cereal in the morning. While watching your baby's growing independence can be bittersweet, learning to take care of herself is an important part of your child's personal and social development.

When it develops
Your child will probably start doing things for herself sometime after her first birthday. Advances come fast and furiously at around 18 months, and while children will still need lots of help and attention for years to come, most will have the basics of self-care — dressing, brushing their teeth, washing their hands, feeding themselves, and going to the bathroom on their own — mastered by or soon after their fourth birthday.

How it develops
Although your child won't make significant progress in self-care until the toddler years, you'll see the first stirrings fairly early on. At about 8 months, your baby will begin to understand how objects relate to one another and may begin using them for their intended function — brushing her hair, babbling on her play phone, and so on. A few weeks later, she'll start learning how to drink out of a cup, and in a few months she'll be able to hold the cup herself (the one-handed grip will come at about 24 months). At 11 months, she'll even start holding out her arm or leg to help you dress her.

Your child will really start developing her own sense of self in the first few months after her first birthday. By 15 months, your toddler will recognize herself in the mirror — no longer will she reach out and try to touch the "other" baby. And soon after, she, like most toddlers, will probably go through a period of adamant no-saying. It's her way of asserting her new feelings of individuation.

As her sense of self increases, so will her achievements in self-care. Over the next three years, your child will master:

• Using a fork and spoon: Some toddlers may start wanting to use utensils as early as 13 months, and most children have figured out this all-important skill by 17 or 18 months. By the time she's 4, your child will probably be able to hold her utensils like an adult, and she'll be ready to learn table manners.

• Taking off her own clothes: While this may lead to lots of naked-toddler chase sessions, it's a key accomplishment, and your child will learn to do it sometime between 13 and 20 months.

• Brushing her teeth: She may start wanting to help with this task as early as 16 months, but she probably won't be able to do it on her own until sometime between her third and fourth birthdays.

• Washing and drying her hands: This skill develops between 19 and 30 months and is something your child should learn before or at the same time as using the toilet — you don't want her spreading bacteria.

• Getting dressed: She may be able to put on loose clothing as early as 20 months, but she'll need a few more months before she can manage a T-shirt and another year or two after that before she'll really be able to get dressed all by herself. At 27 months, she'll probably be able to pull off her shoes.

• Using the toilet: Most children aren't physically ready to start toilet training until they're at least 18 to 24 months old, and some won't be ready to begin for as much as a year after that. Two key signs of readiness include being able to pull her pants up and down by herself and knowing when she has to go before it happens. For more, see BabyCenter's complete toilet training guide.

• Preparing her own breakfast: Toddlers as young as 3 may be able to get themselves a bowl of cereal when they're hungry, and most kids can do it by the time they're four and half. If your child wants to give this a whirl, make it easy for her by leaving kid-size containers of cereal and milk in the cupboard and fridge.

What's next
As the months and years roll by, your child will get better and better at taking care of herself. Before you know it, she'll be able to tie her shoes and take a shower or bath by herself — and then it's just a matter of time until she can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive herself to soccer practice.

Your role
As always, encouragement is key. Whenever your child tries her hand at a new skill, whether she succeeds or not, tell her you're proud she made the effort and urge her to try again. Along the same lines, don't step in too quickly to help; it's essential that she have enough time to master these things on her own, at her own pace (so don't pressure her before she's ready, either). Be flexible — if learning to wash her hands means a messy bathroom for a few days, or if getting dressed on her own means she spends a week running around in an old pink turtleneck, a bright red skirt, blue jeans, and flip flops, go with the flow. The more she practices, the better she'll be.

Be sure to keep a watchful eye on your child as she begins to experiment with doing things on her own. Set limits and explain them: Tell her why it's not safe for her turn on the oven by herself or cut her own meat just yet. She probably won't be very happy about it, but she'll get the idea eventually.

When to be concerned
Children develop skills differently, some more quickly than others, but if your child hasn't shown interest in doing anything for herself by the time she's 2, tell the pediatrician at her next appointment. Keep in mind that premature babies may reach these and other milestones later than their peers.

source from http://www.babycenter.com