Parents Center: Easing Your Toddler's Fears (12 to 24 mo.)

Toddlers and fear
It's normal for your toddler to be fearful. After all, anxiety is a natural condition that helps us cope with new experiences and protects us from danger.

Some toddlers are frightened of very specific things: bugs, dogs, the dark, or loud noises, like the vacuum cleaner. Others are afraid of new situations or meeting new people. Most of your toddler's fears will fade as she becomes more secure in herself and her environment

What you can do to ease your toddler's fears
The following strategies may help, but don't expect your toddler to overcome her fears right away. It can take months — even up to a year — before a child gets over a fear. In the meantime, it's normal for your toddler to obsess over the thing that frightens her by showing fascination with it, modeling it in play, drawing pictures of it, or talking about it incessantly. It's her way of working through the issue.

Don't make light of her fears. They may seem silly and irrational, but they're very real and serious to her. Try not to smile or be dismissive when she reacts with fright to, say, a flushing toilet or a siren. Let her know you understand how it feels to be afraid of something. If you're reassuring and comforting, she'll learn that it's okay to feel afraid and it's best to deal with her fears.

Trying to convince your toddler that there isn't any reason to be afraid will only backfire. You'll probably just make her more upset if you say, "Don't worry, there's no reason to be afraid of the dog." Instead, offer security and reassurance: "I understand that the dog frightens you. Let's walk past him together. If you don't want to do that, I'll hold you while he walks past us."

Use a "lovey." A so-called comfort object — a raggedy baby blanket, perhaps, or a well-worn teddy bear — can help some children with their fears. An object like this can offer an anxious child familiarity and reassurance, especially at times when you need to leave her, such as when you drop her off at daycare or tuck her in for the night.

A lovey can also make it easier for a child to do potentially scary things like meet new people, attend a play group, or visit the doctor. So allow your toddler to hold on to her special toy or blanket. She's likely to stop carrying around that mangy-looking monkey by the time she turns 4. By then, she'll have learned other ways to soothe herself when she's frightened.

Explain, expose, and explore. A scared toddler can sometimes get over a fright if you provide a simple, rational explanation for what's worrying her. You may put an end to her fear of being sucked down the drain along with the bathwater by saying, "Water and bubbles can go down the drain, but rubber duckies and children can't." Or explain that an ambulance has to make a really loud noise so that other cars know to get out of the way.

For some toddlers, a demonstration can be reassuring. Your child may be relieved to see that while a vacuum cleaner can suck up crumbs, sand, and dirt, it can't inhale her toy train or Daddy's toes. A walk at dusk can help make nighttime seem more magical than scary. Or if your toddler's trembling at the thought of getting a hair cut, let the hairdresser snip a strand or two of your own hair to show that it doesn't hurt.

If past experiences are fueling your child's fears — previous vaccinations, for instance, making her panicky about a trip to the doctor's office — don't sugarcoat things. But don't dwell on the bad stuff, either. Gently tell her that while the shot may sting at first, it'll be over quickly, and that the two of you will do something fun afterward. The promise of a reward can help to distract her from the scary event.

You can help your child learn about frightening things from a safe distance, too. She may get over her fear of Halloween characters if she sees a picture book or video about good witches, kind ghosts, and friendly black cats. If she's scared of animals, a trip to a petting zoo, where the creatures can be stroked and fed, may help.

Another way to reassure your toddler is to tell her an uplifting story about another child who does what he's afraid to do and survives the experience unscathed. Make up something off the top of your head, or browse the library for books on the subject.

Problem-solve together. If your toddler's afraid of the dark, get a nightlight for her room. Other tactics you can use to banish bedtime fears include a designated guard (a beloved stuffed animal), "monster spray" (water in a spray-bottle), or a magic phrase that wards off unwelcome visitors.

Through trial and error, you and your toddler will figure out together what helps to increase her sense of power and control over things that frighten her.

Practice through pretend play. If your child is terrified of the doctor, she may benefit from role-playing what happens at the doctor's office (a toy doctor's kit can help). Some toddlers feel more confident when they actually visit the doctor if they come with their kit in tow.

If your toddler shrinks at the sight of strangers, she may feel less frightened if she acts out such encounters using dolls or stuffed animals. If people in costumes scare her, dress up together to help ease her fears.

Don't share your own fears. If your toddler sees you break out in a sweat because there's a spider in the bedroom or cringe when you walk into the dentist's office, then she's likely to feel scared of these things, too. So try to work through your own anxieties or at least try to downplay them.

It's okay, however, to confess that you didn't like going to the dentist as a kid, but you went to keep your teeth healthy. It helps a child to know she's not alone, and that you, too, learned to overcome something scary.

Seek advice. Talk to other parents about your toddler's particular fears and how to handle them.

What to watch out for
If your toddler's fears routinely interfere with her normal daily activities — if she won't wash her hair because she's afraid of water, or she resists going outside for fear of encountering a dog — talk to her doctor about the problem, especially if her fears have intensified over time. She may have a genuine phobia (an intense and persistent irrational fear) or an anxiety disorder.

It's also a good idea to seek a doctor's advice if your toddler reacts to a fear so severely that she simply can't be calmed.

source from http://www.babycenter.com

Parents Center: Won't Sit On The Potty (12 to 24 mo.)

What if my child refuses to sit on the potty?
Even if your child is developmentally ready to begin using the potty, he'll probably need lots of support and encouragement from you before he's willing to give up diapers.

If you've been trying to get your child to use the potty for a while and he's been saying no most of the time, put the potty away for a few weeks and take a break. As you know, toddlers often say no to assert themselves — even when they want to say yes! Give your child a little while to get out of the refusal pattern so both of you can start fresh.

To restart toilet training, wait for a time when your child's daily life is fairly routine and stable. Since training requires your child to focus and learn new patterns, it's best if he isn't also adapting to other changes, such as moving into a new house or starting at a different childcare center. If your child's days are unpredictable, consider holding off on toilet training until he's older. You may also want to think of ways to add more structure to your child's routine to make things more predictable for him.

When you begin training again, don't expect your child to make the connection between sitting on the potty and really using it. First just have him sit on the potty for a few minutes once or twice a day at regular times, such as after a nap or right before bed. If he urinates while he's sitting, he'll make the connection himself, and after a while he'll figure out how his body feels when he needs to go. Some children put all of this together in a matter of days, but most take weeks or even months. Don't worry if your child falls into the latter group.

source from http://www.babycenter.com

How To Help Your Intermediate Reader Become A Fluent Reader (grade 1 to 2)

As your child masters the mechanics of reading at school, you can help him grow as a reader at home. Here are 13 things you can do to keep him turning pages:

Let your child pick out books. Don't worry if your child isn't interested in the classics. Indulge his taste for books about planes or trucks — comic books are okay, too. Your responsibility is to instill a love of reading.

Model good behavior. Your child wants to be just like you, so read around him whenever you can. Don't wait until after bedtime to dive into your novel. When you're reading mail, shopping lists, notes, even catalogs, share what you're reading with your child.

Get to know the librarian. Go to the library as often as you can or as often as your child wants to go. Have your child get to know the librarian so she can help pick out interesting books that relate to your child's interests.

Encourage your child to read alone. Not all the time, of course, but developing readers can master some books on their own and need to do so to become fluent readers. Mix it up: Read a few difficult books to your child, and then let your child read an old favorite by himself.

Read aloud with expression. You'll not only make reading more fun but also teach your child about punctuation, sentence structure, and the flow of a story. Get silly. Make animal noises. Be loud and soft and everything in between. Sing part of the book if you're in the mood. Ask your child to do the same when reading books to you.

Set aside quiet time for reading. Thirty minutes of quiet time for reading before or after dinner, for example, reinforces the idea that reading is part of the daily routine. Have everyone in the family participate; this is an activity for all ages. If possible, after reading time discuss everyone's books for a few minutes.

Write notes to your child. You'll teach your child to appreciate reading and writing as a form of communication with a note as simple as "I love you." Put a note in a school lunch, for example. Use words your child has seen or words you've read in favorite books.

Introduce chapter books. Developing readers are ready for longer books that feature multiple characters and events. Have your child read a chapter or part of a chapter each night. Recapping previous chapters will train him to recall past events.

Talk about a book as you read it. Help build comprehension skills by asking questions beforehand: "What do you think this book is about?" Discuss the title, the cover, and the author. As you read the book, stop once in a while to talk about the story. "What do you think will happen next?" "Do you like the character?" "What do you think he should do?" When the book is over, ask your child what he liked or didn't like about it.

Read everywhere you go. Your child is probably beyond reading simple stop signs, but there are plenty of other things to read from a car window. Ask your child to try to read street signs, movie posters, billboards — they're all fair game.

Keep the flow going. Don't labor over mistakes and difficult words. "Let it go," says reading specialist and first-grade teacher Cindy Pfost. "Don't correct every mistake. If they say, 'The bear went to his house' and the page says, 'The bear went to his home,' that's okay. They're getting the meaning, and that's what's important."

Lighten up. Don't make reading an assignment or require an hour of read-aloud time a night. "Reading time should last as long as the child is interested," Pfost says. "Don't overdo it."

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How To Help Your Beginning Reader Learn To Read (k to 1)

Beginning readers need more than a few phonics lessons to learn to read. In addition to reading aloud every day and surrounding your child with books, here are 13 things you can do to help your beginning reader master the basics:

Read poetry and word pattern books. The same books you read to your preschooler are good choices now. Books with repetition, rhymes, and patterns such as One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss are always hits, as are books that repeat the same words and that stress word similarities with rhymes and patterns such as Bill Martin Jr.'s and Eric Carle's Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

Get to know the librarian. Go to the library as often as you can or as often as your child wants to go. Encourage your child to get to know the librarian so she can help pick out interesting books or books that relate to your child's interests.

Talk about pictures. New readers use pictures as clues to help understand a story. Ask your child questions about the pictures and how they relate to the words on each page.

Model good behavior. Your child wants to be just like you, so read around him whenever you can. Don't wait until after bedtime to dive into your novel. When you're reading mail, shopping lists, notes, or catalogs, share what you're reading with your child.

Let your child pick out books. Don't worry if your child isn't interested in the classics now. The goal is to make reading fun and to get your child turning the pages — reading a comic book or a book about Barbie is okay.

Read aloud with expression. You'll not only make reading more fun but also teach your child about punctuation, sentence structure, and the flow of a story. Pick out fun books such as Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak and just get silly. Make animal noises. Toot and make chug-chug sounds when you read The Little Engine That Could. Be loud and soft and everything in between. Sing part of the book if you're in the mood. Ask your child to do the same when reading books back to you.

Point to the words as you read aloud. New readers are learning the very basics: that print runs left to right, that words represent our spoken language. Emphasize all of these ideas by following the words you read with your finger.

Find books that relate to your child's interests. Show your child that reading can provide information about anything: dinosaurs, cars, fairy godmothers, movie stars and rock stars, magic tricks, etc. Help your child find exciting books. If the book seems too difficult, read it to your child.

Write simple notes to your child. Your note can have just three words: "I love you" or "Have fun today." Use words your child has seen or words you've read in favorite books.

Talk about a book as you read it. Help build comprehension skills by asking questions beforehand: "What do you think this book is about?" Discuss the title, the cover, and the author. As you read the book, stop once in a while to talk about the story. "What do you think will happen next?" "Do you like the character?" "What do you think he should do?" When the book is over, recap the story and ask your child about it.

Read everywhere you go. You'll show your child that reading is an important part of everyday life. When you see a stop sign or other familiar sign, read it out loud: "S, T, O, P. That says stop!" Read store signs, menus, and street signs. Encouraging your child to "read" familiar signs will reinforce your child's sense of mastering reading.

Lighten up. Don't make reading an assignment or require an hour of practice every night. Be aware of your child's attention span, and make sure your child is engaged in the books you're reading.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How To Tell When Your Beginning Reader Needs Extra Help (k to 1)

Children learn to read at vastly different rates. Some will be able to read independently in kindergarten; others need a full year or more of instruction to build vocabulary and phonetic skills. The best way to tell if your child has a problem is to observe your child reading, keeping in mind that your beginning reader won't be able to read through books smoothly or be able to sound out every word. Your child may need extra help if she:

• Shows no interest in books. "A lack of interest could be avoidance," says Susan Glazer, director of the Graduate Program in Reading Language Arts at Rider University.

• Becomes moody and frustrated while reading.

• Doesn't grasp the basic structure of a book (cover and back) and left-to-right movement of text.

• Can't finish basic word patterns (what's next in the series big, little, big, little...).

If your child seems to have trouble learning to read, don't blame yourself or your child. Your child's struggle could be rooted vision or hearing problems, a teacher's teaching approach, or reading material that's too advanced for his age. "I never say the child fails," Glazer says. "What I say is that the book has failed the child. Maybe the reading series is wrong for the child."

Here are six steps you can take to identify and correct the problem:

Watch and listen to your child read. Note problem areas: Is he having trouble recognizing familiar words? Does he frequently mispronounce the same word over and over again? Does he spend a lot of time guessing? Try not to correct him, you goal is to observe.

Talk to your child without sounding too worried or frustrated. You don't want to scare your child away from books. Ask your child about school. Does the teacher move too quickly during class? Are the books too difficult? Try to get information without comparing your child to other kids in class. Don't say, "Does everyone else read faster than you?" Instead ask, "Does the teacher separate the class into reading groups?"

Arrange to speak to your child's teacher or to a reading specialist. Prepare questions before you go, and share whatever problems you've observed at home. Something you think is a problem might be a typical difficulty for a beginning reader. Ask the teacher about the school's reading curriculum and any reading assessments that have been given to your child. The teacher will be able to tell you your child's reading level, discuss any problem areas indicated by those tests, and offer help.

With the teacher, try to identify the source of the problem. Consider the obvious first: Have you checked your child's eyesight and hearing? Vision problems could mean your child has difficulty reading the board during vocabulary and reading exercises or has trouble deciphering letters on a page. Hearing problems can seriously affect a child's ability to read, because many new words are introduced orally during the first few years of school.

As you work on the reading problem, praise your child's progress. Many children are nervous about reading and keeping up with their classmates, so try to help your child feel as if she's mastering reading. If you're out shopping and you see a sign your child knows such as McDonald's or Toys R Us, ask your child, "Can you read that sign?" Write down your child's name or the names of everyone in the family, and ask your child to read them. "Let them see themselves as readers," says reading specialist and first-grade teacher Cindy Pfost. Find a copy of the book When Will I Read? by Miriam Cohen; it reassures children who are having trouble.

Don't discuss your child's reading problem with other adults and friends in front of your child. It's best to keep the problem between yourself, your spouse, and the teacher or reading specialist.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Fun Activities For Beginning Readers (K to 1)

The secret to helping your child learn to read is showing him that reading can provide endless hours of fun. Here are some great activity ideas for your beginning reader.

Because children learn in different ways, we've arranged these activities by learning style. But any child can benefit from the suggestions in all three categories.

For physical learners
Get a library card in your child's name Go the library together and visit the checkout counter to apply for a library card. If he knows how to spell his own name, ask him to tell you while you write it down on the application. When you get the card, make a copy of it and laminate it so your child has a card of his own to carry around; if your library system uses plastic cards with bar codes, get your child his own card as they are easily replaced.

Play dress-up and act out a book Dressing up like the characters in your child's favorite book can really bring reading to life. You can invite some of your child's friends over and make it a playdate.

Make an alphabet poster Ask your child to draw each letter on some poster board, then go through magazines and catalogs and cut out pictures of things that begin with each letter and glue them on the board. This is a great hands-on way to learn the alphabet.

Make finger puppets to go with a story Cut the fingers off some old gloves and then use fabric markers to draw the characters on together. You can also roll felt or paper for the body and then glue eyes, noses, smiles, and hair on them. If your art skills could use some work, make color copies from a favorite book, then cut out the characters' faces and glue them onto the glove fingers or rolled paper or felt. Once you make the puppets, you and your child can use them to help tell a story.

Write a letter to your child's favorite author To help your child get started, ask him a few questions. What do you like about this author's book? How do you feel when you read these stories? Who is your favorite character? Then have your child put the letter in an envelope, seal it, and add a stamp. You can send it to the author care of the publisher. Check the title page of the book to find out who that is.

Make a dictionary As your child comes across words he doesn't know, write them in a blank book or notebook along with the meaning. This is a great way to help build vocabulary.

Give out book dollars If you don't want to use real money, you can draw your own. Dole out the cash for chores or other good deeds at home. When your child earns ten or 15, take a trip to the bookstore and let him spend the money.

Go to a book signing party Popular children's authors often make appearances at bookstores. Check local papers and bulletin boards at bookstores to find out who's coming next.

Build a reading fort In your child's bedroom, lean together some broom or mop sticks and drape blankets over them to create a tent. Invite your child to grab a book and a flashlight and climb in for story time in the dark (you can join in to help him read the stories if he wants). In the summertime you can do this in the yard.

Serve a meal from a book Use food coloring to make green eggs and ham, try to recreate parts of the Grinch's Christmas feast, or make your own batch of porridge for the Three Little Bears. You can even get a basket and fill it with goodies for Little Red Riding Hood to take to Grandmother's house.

Have a reading picnic Take your favorite food and your favorite books to the park. You'll reinforce the idea that reading can be fun anywhere.

Throw a book-related party Read over your child's favorite book and think about what elements would work at a party. Can you decorate his room in a jungle theme to resemble Where the Wild Things Are? Can you collect hats and host a Cat-in-the-Hat party (Dr. Seuss's birthday is March 2. Why not celebrate?)? You'll get your child and his friends talking about books.

For auditory learners
Go to story time at the library or a bookstore Nothing beats listening to a trained storyteller. Going to the library or a bookstore to listen to a tall tale is not only a fun outing, but your child will also learn about new books and meet other children. As a bonus, you may pick up a few tips to jazz up your own read-aloud sessions.

Listen to books on tape You can check out tapes from the library for free or buy them at a bookstore (to save money, stop by your local used bookstore). Kids love listening to someone else tell them a story, and they can follow along in their own books.

Read a recipe and cook the dish together Start with an illustrated children's cookbook so your child can see how the dish might turn out. Read the recipe to your child while she follows along. Making the food will teach your child that books provide useful information.

Join a summer book club at the library Most libraries arrange summer programs with lists of books for each age group and awards for completing the books. To get credit for each book your child may need to retell the story to a librarian or volunteer. Your child will share the joy of books with others — and may even win some prizes.

For visual learners
Read a story that's out as a movie Then go see the movie. Your child will love seeing characters he already knows from a book up on the big screen. You can rent videos too. For a fun twist, make it a sleepover party and invite other kids to read and watch the video.

Turn a book into art Make a color copy of your child's favorite picture in a book and frame it for her bedroom, or have it put on a shirt at a T-shirt shop.

Write captions to favorite pictures Get out some photos or a photo album and go through each picture one by one asking your child to describe what's going on, or if he's in them how he felt or what he was doing. Then write the story on sticky notes that you place on the pictures.

Subscribe to a kids' magazine Your child will love getting his own magazines in the mail. Great ones to try at this age are Highlights for Children or Sports Illustrated for Kids.

Imagine what happens next With your child, make up and write down a sequel to a favorite book.

Copy your child's favorite book into a blank journal Then let your child draw a new picture for each page of the story.

Visit your child's favorite author's Web site Some great ones to try: the home page of Jan Brett, illustrator of Hedgie's Surprise and other stories, the site for Eric Carle, best known as the author of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and Suessville, a great destination for Dr. Seuss lovers.

Leave notes for your child Put them in her lunchbox or book bag every day, even if it's just a few simple words such as "I love you." You can also leave them around her room or next to her toothbrush.

Buy a big book Teaching supply stores sell giant books for teachers to use in the classroom. They're great for group reads because all the kids can see the pictures, but your child will also love the huge oversized pictures in your one-on-one story time.

Illustrate a song Write down the words to your child's favorite song and, with your child, draw pictures to go with each stanza. Then read the song together.

Set a family reading time For 15 or 20 minutes a night, everyone in the house reads a story together. If friends or neighbors are visiting, ask them to participate. Follow the reading time with a few minutes of discussion about the book to encourage comprehension.

Write a book of "my favorite things" Staple together ten blank pages and ask your child to think of that many favorite things. Help with ideas. Ask him questions such as, What's your favorite food? Who is your best friend? What is your favorite book? Write one thing on each page and have your child draw a picture to go with it.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Fun Activities For Advanced Readers (grades 2 to 3)

As your child becomes a fluent reader, you can continue to encourage a love of reading. Make sure reading stays fun with these great activity ideas.

Because children learn in different ways, we've arranged these activities by learning style. If you're not sure what your child's learning style is. But any child can benefit from the suggestions in all three categories.

For physical learners
Make a family newspaper Have your child write stories about what's happening in the family. Need some ideas? Recent birthdays, outings, and events at school all make good subjects for "articles." Then encourage her to read the paper to others.

Discover words to grow on Go to the library and check out a gardening book or buy one at the bookstore. Read through it to find plants, flowers, or vegetables that look interesting and then buy some seeds or plants from a local nursery and watch them grow.

Make your own bookmarks Cut a long rectangular strip out of white cardboard, punch a hole in the top, and let your child decorate each side with markers, stickers, sparkles, anything she wants. Then choose a ribbon and tie it through the hole as tassel.

Write a letter to a favorite author To help your child get started, ask her a few questions. What do you like about this author's book? How do you feel when you read these stories? Who is your favorite character? When it's ready, you can send the letter to the author care of the publisher. Check the title page of the book to find out who that is.

Make a dictionary As your child comes across words she doesn't know, have her write them in a blank book or notebook along with the meaning. This is a great way to help build vocabulary.

Give out book dollars If you don't want to use real money, you can draw your own. Dole out the cash for chores or other good deeds at home. When your child earns ten or 15, take a trip to the bookstore and let her spend the money.

Go to a book signing party Popular children's authors often make appearances at bookstores. Check local papers and bulletin boards at bookstores to find how who's coming next.

Build a reading fort In your child's bedroom, lean together some broom or mop sticks and drape blankets over them to create a tent. Invite your child to grab a book and a flashlight and climb in for story time in the dark. In the summertime you can do this in the yard.

Serve a meal from a book Use food coloring to make green eggs and ham, try to recreate parts of the Grinch's Christmas feast, or make your own batch of freckle juice from Judy Blume's book.

Throw a book-related party Read over your child's favorite book and think about what elements would work at a party. Can you decorate her room like the Hogwarts Academy in Harry Potter? You'll get your child and her friends talking about books.

For auditory learners
Go to story time at the library or a bookstore Nothing beats listening to a trained storyteller. Going to the library or a bookstore to listen to a tall tale is not only a fun outing, but your child will also learn about new books and meet other children. As a bonus, you may pick up a few tips to jazz up your own read-aloud sessions.

Write a menu for a weekend dinner Decide what you'd like to serve and then ask your child to write the dishes down with descriptions. Tell your child to use describing words (also known as adjectives) such as "green, fresh" salad, "hot" chicken, and "cold, sweet" ice cream. The next night, scramble the adjectives as a joke on the rest of the family!

Find a reading phone pal Teach your child to share the joy of reading. Call a friend or relative in another city and arrange a one-on-one book club. Have the children read the same books and talk about them each week.

Listen to books on tape You can check out tapes from the library for free or buy them at a bookstore (to save money, stop by your local used bookstore). Kids love listening to someone else tell them a story, and they can follow along in their own books.

Read a recipe and cook the dish together Start with an illustrated children's cookbook so your child can see how the dish might turn out. Read the recipe to your child while she follows along. Making the food will teach your child that books provide useful information.

Join a summer book club at the library Most libraries arrange summer programs with lists of books for each age group and awards for completing the books. To get credit for each book your child may need to retell the story to a librarian or volunteer. Your child will share the joy of books with others — and may even win some prizes.

For visual learners
Read a story that's out as a movie Then go see the movie. Your child will love seeing characters she already knows from a book up on the big screen. You can rent videos too. For a fun twist, make it a sleepover party and invite other kids to read and watch the video. Then have them talk about it to build reading comprehension. Some ideas: Charlotte's Web, Sarah Plain and Tall, The Little Mermaid, and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Make a photo scrapbook Have your child glue some favorite photos in an album (or on colored paper that you'll later punch holes in and tie together) and then write captions next to each one describing what's going on in the picture.

Subscribe to magazines Let your child browse the racks at the store. Aside from the obvious brown-bag restrictions, let her choose whatever she wants. Kids like to read teen magazines long before they're teens. Buy a couple of different magazines from a newsstand or bookstore, then ask your child to pick out a favorite for a subscription.

Imagine what happens next Have your child make up and write down a sequel to a favorite book.

Visit your child's favorite author's Web site Some great ones to try: the site for Gary Paulsen, author of Hatchet and other popular books, the site for the Goosebumps series, and the site for J.K. Rowling, of Harry Potter fame.

Leave notes for your child Put them in her lunchbox or book bag every day. Even if it's just a few simple words such as "I love you." You can also leave them around her room or next to her toothbrush.

Let her read comic books Everyone knows they aren't fine literature, but there's no denying that kids love them! Some great ones to try: Garfield, Archie, The Far Side, Calvin and Hobbes.

Illustrate a song Write down the words to your child's favorite song and have your child draw pictures to go with each stanza. Then read the song.

Set a family reading time For 15 or 20 minutes a night, everyone in the house reads a story together. If friends or neighbors are visiting, ask them to participate. Follow the reading time with a few minutes of discussion about the book to encourage comprehension.

Keep a diary Let your child pick out a diary with a lock and key and encourage her to write in it every day, even if only for a few minutes.

Follow along with a book project Find an instruction or how-to book based on your child's interests: How to draw cars, how to make perfume, how to construct a model, etc. Show your child how to read for information and then put that information to use.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How To Tell When Your Advanced Reader Needs Extra Help (age 2 to 3)

Children learn to read at vastly different rates. Some will be reading independently and smoothly by early 2nd grade, others will be well into 3rd grade before they can read chapter books on their own and enjoy longer books with fewer pictures. The best way to find out whether your child has a problem that needs attention is to spend time watching her read.

She may need extra help if she:

• Shows no interest in books. "A lack of interest could be avoidance," says Susan Glazer, director of the graduate program in reading language arts at Rider University.

• Becomes moody and frustrated while reading

• Has difficulty keeping up with school assignments

• Regularly misunderstands basic words and / or sentence meanings in assigned reading

• Refuses to read in front of you or with you

• Shows interest only in simple books and still relies heavily on pictures to help tell the story

• Dreads book reports and assignments that require reading

If your child seems to be far behind other kids in 2nd and 3rd grade, don't blame yourself or your child. Her struggle could be rooted in anything from vision or hearing problems to a teacher's teaching approach to inappropriate reading material. "I never say the child fails," Glazer says. "What I say is that the book has failed the child. Maybe the reading series is wrong for the child."

Here are six steps you can take to identify and correct the problem:

Watch and listen to your child read. Note problem areas: Does she mispronounce the same words over and over? Does she spend a lot of time struggling to sound something out? Try not to interfere. Simply observe.

Talk to your child without sounding too worried or frustrated. You don't want to scare your child away from books. To start the conversation, ask your child about school. Does the teacher move too quickly during class? Are the books boring or too difficult? Try to get information without comparing your child to other kids in class. Don't say, "Does everyone else read faster than you?" Instead ask, "Does the teacher separate the class into reading groups?"

Arrange to speak to your child's teacher or a reading specialist. Prepare questions before you go, and share whatever problems you've observed at home. Something you think is a problem may not be. Ask the teacher about the school's reading curriculum and any reading assessments that have been given to your child. Most teachers will be able to tell you your child's reading level, discuss any problem areas indicated by those assessments, and offer help.

With the teacher, try to identify the source of the problem. Consider the obvious first: Have you checked your child's eyesight and hearing? Vision problems could mean your child has difficulty seeing the board during vocabulary and reading exercises or has trouble deciphering letters on a page. Hearing difficulties can seriously affect a child's ability to read, because many new words are introduced orally during the first few years of school.

As you work on the reading problem, praise your child's progress. Many children are nervous about reading and keeping up with their classmates, so try to help your child feel as if he's mastering reading. If you're out shopping and you see a sign your child knows, such as McDonald's or KMart, ask your child, "Can you read that sign?" Write down your child's name or the names of everyone in the family and ask your child to read them. "Let him see himself as a reader," says reading specialist and 1st grade teacher Cindy Pfost. Find a copy of the book When Will I Read? by Miriam Cohen, and let your child read it. It reassures children who are having trouble.

Don't discuss your child's reading problem with other adults and friends in front of your child. It's best to keep the problem between yourself, your spouse, and the teacher or reading specialist.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Parents Center: How You Can Help An Adnanced Reader

If your child is reading independently and fluently, you should continue to encourage reading for fun and for information. Here are ten ways to help your child continue to grow as a reader:

Model good behavior. Your child wants to be just like you, so read around her whenever you can. Don't wait until after bedtime to dive into your novel. When you're reading mail, shopping lists, notes, or catalogs, share what you're reading with your child.

Let your child pick out books. Your job is to make reading fun and to instill a love of the written word in your child. Don't worry too much if your child isn't interested in Madeline L'Engle's Wrinkle in Time or other classics yet. If your child wants to read comic books, that's okay.

Get to know the librarian. Go to the library as often as you can or as often as your child wants to go. Encourage your child to get to know the librarian so she can help pick out interesting books or books that relate to your child's interests.

Read to your child. We're never too old to be read to. Read an interesting magazine article to your child. Go to a poetry or book reading at a bookstore or library. Let her pick out an advanced "chapter book" that will take a while to complete, and read a piece of the book every night. Elaine McEwan, reading specialist and author of How to Raise a Reader, recommends the following books for advanced readers: Strawberry Girl by Lois Lenski, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg, and Old Yeller by Fred Gipson.

Select books that convey information. Introduce your child to nonfiction and instructional books. Read about a city before you visit, learn how machines work, or ask her to read about a holiday tradition and share that information with the family over holiday dinner.

Set aside quiet time for reading. Thirty minutes of quiet time for reading before or after dinner, for example, reinforces the idea that reading is part of the daily routine. Have everyone in the family participate; this is an activity for all ages. If possible, after reading time discuss everyone's books for a few minutes.

Find longer chapter books. Advanced readers can handle a thicker book and grasp intricate story lines. If necessary, review earlier parts of the book each night with your child. You might even want to read the same book yourself to keep up with the story. Introduce your child to books you loved when you started to master reading: Charlotte's Web, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Secret Garden, and Island of the Blue Dolphins are favorites.

Keep the flow going. When your child is reading aloud to you, don't labor over mistakes and difficult words. If your child loves Harry Potter books and the vocabulary seems too difficult, don't stop to look up every unknown word. Let your child enjoy the story. Your child can mark unknown words and later look up definitions and write them in a homemade dictionary.

Lighten up. Don't make reading an assignment or require a certain amount every night. "Reading time should only last as long as the child is interested," says elementary school teacher and reading specialist Cindy Pfost. "Don't overdo it."

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How Your Child Learns To Read

Learning to read is a process, one that requires mastering three basic skills. These skills are syntax, semantics, and phonics. Syntax (grammar and punctuation) is the way words, phrases, and clauses go together to create sentences and paragraphs. Semantics is the way words and sentences in a group relate to one another. Phonics refers to the sounds letters make and the relationship between written and spoken words, or comprehension.

As your child learns to read, he will develop these cue areas as a group, not one at a time. Most children, however, start understanding syntax and semantics before phonics; that is, your preschooler will learn that sentences in a book run from left to right before he understands what the letter combination sh sounds like. The best thing you can do to help your child grow in all three areas is to expose him to books and reading every day, whether by reading aloud at bedtime, going to story time at your local library, or simply reading a recipe for making cookies.

About syntax
A child who grasps syntax has an awareness of written language; that is, he understands the grammatical structure and the relationship of words to each other. Syntax skills begin with an understanding of the structure of a book and the words and sentences within it. For example, when your child was a baby, he held books upside down, gnawed on them, or used them as a mat to sit on. As a toddler, he started to understand that a book has a cover and a back, that words are read from left to right, and that the book progresses page by page. Once your child grasps the structure of a book, he'll begin to understand what's inside: words, sentences, paragraphs, and, eventually, chapters. As your child tackles new books, he'll begin to understand the stops and starts and pauses in a sentence and the purpose of punctuation.

Here are some ways to develop syntax skills with early readers:

• Read rhyming and word pattern books aloud. Authors such as Dr. Seuss are great for beginning readers. Books with repetitive word patterns such as Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin, Jr. and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss are good choices.

• As you read a book with your child, follow the words with your finger. This will show your child how a sentence progresses, that a period represents a stop in the flow of the story, and other relationships between written and spoken language.

• Write a letter with your child. Emphasize the parts of the letter: introduction, sentences, paragraphs, closing.

Here are some ways to encourage and develop syntax skills with intermediate and advanced readers:

• Continue to work on syntax skills with poetry. Try reading aloud books by poet Shel Silverstein.

• Read aloud with expression. Stop at all the stops, emphasize exclamation and question marks, pause at commas. Exaggerating these cues will help your child develop an appreciation for syntax.

• Practice sentence tenses. Take a favorite book and try to change the tense of the sentences. For example, change the text from "Today we're going to the park," to "Yesterday we went to the park." This technique will highlight grammatical structure.

About semantics
Semantic skills include an ability to recognize and define words, to predict the plot of a story, understand the characters, and talk about the meaning of a whole paragraph or section of a book, and to discuss a book after reading it. Once your child masters semantics, he will grasp the meaning of long blocks of text and understand synonyms and antonyms. He will be able to substitute words ("bucket" for "pail," "cup" for "glass") and differentiate words with similar meanings.

Here are some ways to encourage and develop semantic skills with early readers:

• Read books that tell stories. "I call them paragraph books," says Janet Dynak, reading specialist and dean of the school of education at Westminster College in Salt Lake City. "Look for books with meat to them, books where the narrative is a story." Good choices for early readers include fairy tales, Stellaluna by Janell Cannon, Madeline's Rescue by Ludwig Bemelmans, and The Story of Babar by Jean De Brunhoff.

• Talk about the book as you read it. Ask your child to predict the end of the story. Ask, "How do you feel about what's happening? What do you think will happen next?"

• Keep the flow going. If your child is learning to read aloud, don't stop mid-sentence to labor over a difficult word. If your child is stuck, say the word, explain the meaning, and then move on with the sentence. This encourages comprehension of the sentence and the rest of the story. Go back and review the word another time.

Ways to encourage and develop semantic skills with intermediate and advanced readers:

• Again, read books that tell stories. Encourage developing and advanced readers to read longer books, especially ones that must be read over the course of a few days or weeks. Longer books encourage children to remember what was read (characters, events) and to predict what might come next. Less advanced readers might need to review material before they move on to a new chapter.

• Talk about the books as you read them. Even if your child is reading independently, discuss the book before and after story time. Ask your child to predict the end of the story and to explain the theme or moral. Ask, "How do you feel about what's happening?" "What do you think will happen next?" If your child is reading a chapter book gradually, you might want to review the material in each chapter before moving on to the next one.

• Create a personal dictionary. If your child has trouble with vocabulary, write down unknown words in a homemade dictionary as your child reads a book. Look up the words together later, write down the definition, and encourage your child to review the unknown words.

• Read to your child. No child is too old for this. Read part of a longer book aloud and with expression. Discuss the story at the end of each chapter, and encourage your child to ask questions about the story as you read, especially if your child doesn't understand a certain word. Or you can take turns reading: you read one page, your child reads the next.

About phonics
Phonics is the mechanical part of the reading process — your child's ability to understand the sounds letters make in relationship to each other. Phonics ability includes being able to sound out words; recognize word families such as ph words, -at words, and th words; differentiate like words such as "big" and "bag"; and distinguish words with different letters but similar sounds such as "four" and "phone." Phonics skills also include an understanding of roots, prefixes, and suffixes (for example, knowing what non- or un- does at the beginning of a word) and differentiating homonyms, for example, "their" and "there" and "way" and "weigh."

Here are some ways to encourage and develop phonics skills with early readers:

• Go through rhyming books, nursery rhymes, chants, and songs with your child. With each rhyme, point out like words and discuss the difference (how is "cat" different from "hat"?).

• Use alphabet books to discuss words that are the same and different in their beginning and end.

• Write down the names of family members and friends, and sound out each name with your child. Group the names, for example, by first letter (Grandma and Grandpa, Mommy and Me, John and James).

Here are some ways to encourage and develop phonics skills with developing and advanced readers:

• Introduce your child to new reading material daily, such as newspapers and magazines. Use phonemic skills to sound out words and semantic skills to figure out meaning based on the context of the sentence or paragraph.

• Have your child read to you. When he comes across new or difficult words, pronounce and define them for him, and then let your child read the sentence. Keep a mental note of any recurring problems.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Getting Your Toddler To Listen

Toddlers are just like the rest of us — they don't always listen. In fact, at their age they need you to teach them how to pay attention. "But what often happens," says Roni Leiderman, associate dean of the Family Center at Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, "is that parents say something 10 times, then they start counting down to punishment. What this does is actually condition the child not to listen until the tenth time."

By not listening, your child is getting your attention (though constant nagging isn't the best form of it). But being a good listener helps your child learn more effectively, heed danger signals, get along better with you and her teachers and other adults she'll be expected to respect, and make better friends. There are many simple strategies that, when consistently followed, will teach toddlers the skills they need to become good listeners. And, as Leiderman points out, "It's never too early to begin teaching your child. A toddler may not listen as well as a 5-year-old, but she still has lots of these skills."

Get on her level.
As every parent realizes sooner or later, bellowing from a great height (much less from the other room) rarely has the desired effect. Squat down or pick your child up, so you can look her in the eye and grab her attention. She'll listen much more closely if you sit down next to her at the breakfast table when reminding her to eat up her cornflakes, or perch on her bed at night when telling her you're about to turn out the light.

Be clear.
State your message clearly, simply, and authoritatively. Your child will zone out if you harp on a topic too long. It's hard to find the point of a wordy message such as "It's really cold outside, and you've been sick lately, so I want you to put on your sweater before we go to the store." On the other hand, "It's time to get your sweater" is unmistakable. And don't phrase something as a question if your child doesn't actually have a choice. "It's time to climb into your car seat" has a lot more impact than "Come climb into your car seat, okay, honey?"

Follow through — quickly.
Make it clear that you mean what you say, and don't make threats — or promises — you won't keep. If you tell your 2-year-old, "You need to drink some milk at dinnertime," don't waffle five minutes later and let her have juice instead. If you warn her she'll have a time-out if she hits her brother, give her that time-out when the blow comes. Make sure your spouse or partner shares your rules and respects them as well, so that neither of you undermines the other.

In addition, make your follow-through speedy. You would never expect to have to shout "Don't run across the street!" five times before your child heeded you. Similarly, don't fall into the trap of repeating less urgent instructions, such as "Set your cup on the table," over and over again before expecting your child to comply. Gently guide your child's hand to place the cup on the table so she knows exactly what you want her to do.

Reinforce your message.
It often helps to follow up your verbal statement with a number of other kinds of messages, especially if you are trying to pull your child away from an absorbing activity. Say "Time for bed!" and then give a visual cue (flicking the light switch on and off), a physical cue (laying a hand on her shoulder to gently pull her attention away from her doll and toward you), and a demonstration (steering her toward her bed, pulling down the covers, and patting the pillow).

Give warnings.
Give your child some advance notice before a big change will take place, especially if she's happily involved with toys or a friend. Before you're ready to leave the house, tell her, "We're going to leave in a few minutes. When I call you, it's time to come out of the sandbox and wash your hands."

Give realistic instructions.
"If you tell a 2-year-old to put his toys away, he looks around the room and says, 'Sheesh!'" says Leiderman. "Give him realistic tasks, like 'Let's put the yellow blocks away.' Then you can make it into play: 'Good, now let's put the blue blocks away.'"

Motivate.
Yelling orders may produce results (in some children), but no one will enjoy the process. Most children respond best when you treat them with confident good humor. For example, occasionally use a silly voice or a song to deliver your message. You might sing "Now it's time to brush your teeth" to the tune of "London Bridge," for example. Stress the benefits of complying over mere dutifulness ("Brush your teeth and then you can pick out your favorite nightgown" instead of "You have to brush your teeth or you'll get cavities" or "Brush your teeth NOW!"). Praise her when she finishes brushing, with "Good listening!"

The good humor, affection, and trust you demonstrate to your child when speaking to her this way will make her want to listen to you, because she'll know that you love her and think she's special. This is an important aspect of even those strategies that require firmness. Giving straightforward, authoritative instructions does not mean you have to be crabby — such messages are much more powerful when accompanied by a hug or a smile. Then your child learns that paying attention to you is worthwhile.

Model good behavior.
Preschoolers will be better listeners if they see that you are a good listener, too. Make it a habit to listen to your child as respectfully as you would to any adult. Look at her when she talks to you, respond politely, and let her finish without interrupting whenever possible. While it may seem like a tall order when you're cooking dinner and your toddler is being especially chatty, try not to walk away from her or turn your back on her while she's talking. As with so many other behaviors, the old saw "Do as I say, not as I do" has no value when teaching your children to listen.

source from http://www.babycenter.com

How To Raise A Child Who Listens Well (age 2 to 4)

Being a good listener is critical to your child's success at school. If he can't follow directions, whether on the playground ("Pick a partner and pass the ball back and forth across the field") or in the classroom ("Take out a number 2 pencil and open your test booklets to page 1") — he'll have a tough time learning. Children who are good listeners also have an advantage socially — they tend to be very good friends to others.

Here are seven ways you can help your child become a better listener:

Be a good listener yourself
Don't interrupt your child when he's telling you a story. Turn your attention to him when he's trying to tell you something. Give him your undivided attention when he's talking — don't read the paper or talk to someone else at the same time. If you want him to listen to you, he needs to see that you will listen to him too. Children return the respect they receive, and children who are listened to tend to become good listeners themselves.

Give clear, simple directions for everyday tasks
Get in the habit of giving your child simple instructions. Make eye contact with him, and say, "Go into your room and make your bed. Then get your backpack and your homework and meet me downstairs." As he becomes a better listener, you can add another task or two. In this way, you're not only teaching your child to listen well, but to be independent too.

Praise good listening
Saying "Thanks for being such a good listener" will reinforce your child's desire to listen. Make a special point of praising him when he follows directions the first time.

Say what you mean
If you tell your child, "You can have two more cookies," then give him two cookies — not three or four. Once your child figures out that you don't stick to your word, he'll tune you out.

Be consistent about consequences
If you tell your child that you'll have to leave the toy store if he doesn't stop whining, then follow through without giving him another chance. Your child will be more inclined to do what is asked of him if he understands that his actions have clear, enforceable consequences.

Read aloud together every day
The time you spend reading together is invaluable listening and learning. Before you begin, ask your child to recap what you read the night before, and when you finish, ask him to predict what might happen next based on what he's heard so far.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How To Raise A Child Who Listens Well (birth to 1)

Being a good listener is critical to your child's success at school. If he can't follow directions, whether on the playground ("Pick a partner and pass the ball back and forth across the field") or in the classroom ("Take out a number 2 pencil and open your test booklets to page one") — he'll have a tough time learning. Children who are good listeners also have an advantage socially — they tend to be very good friends to others.

Here are seven ways you can help your child become a better listener:

Be a good listener yourself
Don't interrupt your child when he's telling you a story. Turn your attention to him when he wants to tell you something. Give him your undivided attention when he's talking — don't read the paper or talk to someone else at the same time. If you want him to listen to you, he needs to see that you will listen to him too. Children return the respect they receive — and children who have been listened to tend to become good listeners themselves.

Give clear, simple directions for everyday tasks
Get in the habit of giving your child simple instructions. Make eye contact with him, and say, "Go into your room and make your bed. Then get your backpack and meet me downstairs." As he becomes a better listener, you can add another task or two. In this way, you're not only teaching your child to listen well, but to be independent as well.

Praise good listening
Saying "Thanks for being such a good listener" will reinforce your child's desire to listen. Make a special point of praising him when he follows directions the first time.

Say what you mean
If you tell your child "You can have two more cookies," then give him two cookies — not three or four. Once your child figures out that you don't stick to your word, he'll tune you out.

Be consistent about consequences
If you tell your child that you'll have to leave the toy store if he doesn't stop whining, then follow through without giving him another chance. Your child will be more inclined to do what is asked of him if he understands that his actions have clear, enforceable consequences.

Read aloud together every day
The time you spend reading together is invaluable for listening and learning. Before you begin, ask your child to recap what you read the night before, and when you finish, ask him to predict what might happen next based on what he's heard so far.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How To Raise A Child Who Loves Music (age 5 to 8)

Want to raise a child who loves and appreciates music? It's easier than learning to play "Chopsticks." You don't have to be a virtuoso. All you need to do is create a music-rich environment. Here are some tips on orchestrating the beginnings of a lifelong love of music:

• Sing songs both to and with your child. Whether you're doing a solo or chiming in with the radio or CD player, you're setting the stage. And don't worry about performing an aria or the full score from the Lion King — just one song, like "Hakuna Matata" (making up lyrics as you go along, if need be), is music to your child's ears. Don't worry if you're a tad off key. "Singing in tune is not a requirement," says Wendy Sims, professor and director of music education at the University of Missouri-Columbia. "What's important is that you interact with your child musically, which shows your youngster that you value music." Also, if you feel insecure about your voice, it's best to avoid negative statements such as "I can't carry a tune." You're trying to develop a positive attitude toward music, and children aren't the harsh music critics that many adults are. They'll love singing with you no matter how you sound.

• Strike up the band. Click on the radio, pop in a tape, insert a CD. With a flip of a switch or the push of button, you can make music an integral part of your child's everyday life, and thus help him develop an interest in music. "Just as you'd get a child excited about reading by reading to him, you get a child excited about music by listening to music, dancing to music, doing just about anything musical," says Pamela Shaw, director of the Oklahoma City University Performing Arts Academy.

• Play an assortment of music. Young children are receptive to all kinds of music: jazz, classical, pop, African, Latin, and so on. By playing a variety of artists, composers, and styles, you create a stimulating musical environment — a home filled with the sounds of different instruments, languages, and rhythms. Also, the sooner you introduce a child to the different styles of music, the better. "As children get older, sometime around 8 or 9, they're likely to pick a favorite type of music and only want to listen to that particular style for quite some time," says Patricia Shehan Campbell, author of Songs in Their Heads: Music and Its Meaning in Children's Lives and professor of music at the University of Washington in Seattle. "So before children decide on their favorite style, you want them to be aware of the incredible array available." Keep in mind that although all different kinds of children's music are available — everything from the classical CD Beethoven Lives Upstairs to African, Caribbean, and Zydeco — it doesn't have to be music specifically for kids.

• Play "Finish That Tune." Sing, hum, or whistle the first few notes of a song that your child knows — for example, "This land is my land..." — and then stop. Chances are that your child (or anyone else in the room) will finish the line. It's also a fun and effective way to wake up a child in the morning. Poke your head into your child's bedroom, and sing a few notes of a song — for example, "Tomorrow" from the musical Annie: "The sun'll come out..." and stop. After a few tries, you might hear your increasingly alert child sing out "tomorrow."

• Attend concerts. Many symphonies perform children's concerts, like Peter and the Wolf, at which the different instruments are highlighted. And communities often present concerts in the park — a wonderful setting for children because they can listen and move to music in a setting they already associate with having fun.

• Check out musically minded books. Reading stories like Mozart Tonight by Julie Downing or Gabriella's Song by Candance Fleming is another easy way to introduce your child to music.

• Enroll in children's music programs. Kindermusik, a popular, national music program, is geared for children up to age 7. The classes are designed around developmental stages, and the children learn about music through activities such as singing, moving to music, and playing games and simple instruments. The program also offers parents an opportunity to participate with their child.

• Dance to the music. Kids love to dance, so crank up the tunes and twist and shout.

• Perform. If your child is learning to play the piano or another instrument — even the pots and pans — why not put on a show? See our articles on playing musical instruments. Make it casual, but special. For your budding Liberace, you might place a candelabra on the piano, or maybe you'd like to jam along with your little drummer boy. You could even videotape the show as a gift for Grandma and Grandpa.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

How To Raise A Child Who Loves Music (age 2 to 4)

Want to raise a child who loves and appreciates music? It's easier than learning to play "Chopsticks." You don't have to be a virtuoso. All you need to do is create a music-rich environment. Here are some tips on orchestrating the beginnings of a lifelong love of music:

• Sing songs to and with your child. Whether you're doing a solo or chiming in with the radio or CD player, you're setting the stage. Don't worry about performing an aria or the full score from the Lion King — simple tunes like "Old MacDonald" or "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" are music to your child's ears. And definitely don't worry if you're a tad off key. "Singing in tune is not a requirement," says Wendy Sims, professor and director of music education at the University of Missouri at Columbia. "What's important is that you interact with your child musically, which shows your youngster that you value music." Also, if you feel insecure about your voice, it's best to avoid negative statements such as "I can't carry a tune." You're trying to develop a positive attitude toward music, and children aren't the harsh music critics that many adults are. They'll love singing with you no matter how you sound.

• Strike up the band. Click on the radio, pop in a tape, insert a CD. With a flip of a switch or the push of button, you can make music an integral part of your child's everyday life, and thus help him develop an interest in music. "Just as you'd get a child excited about reading by reading to him, you get a child excited about music by listening to music, dancing to music, doing just about anything musical," says Pamela Shaw, director of the Oklahoma City University Performing Arts Academy.

• Play an assortment of music. Young children are receptive to all kinds of music: jazz, classical, pop, African, Latin, and so on. By playing a variety of artists, composers, and styles, you create a stimulating musical environment — a home filled with the sounds of different instruments, languages, and rhythms. Also, the sooner you introduce a child to the different styles of music, the better. "As children get older, sometime around 8 or 9, they're likely to pick a favorite type of music and only want to listen to that particular style for quite some time," says Patricia Shehan Campbell, author of Songs in Their Heads: Music and Its Meaning in Children's Lives and professor of music at the University of Washington in Seattle. "So before children decide on their favorite style, you want them to be aware of the incredible array available." Keep in mind, too, that although there's plenty of wonderful music created just for children, the selections don't have to be specifically for kids.

• Play "Finish That Tune." Sing the first few notes of a song that your child knows, for example, "The wheels on the...," and then stop. You can bet your child (or anyone else in the room) is going to finish the line. • Attend concerts. Many symphonies perform children's concerts. Some may even be specifically designed for preschoolers. And often, communities present concerts in the park — a wonderful setting for children because they can listen and move to music in an outdoor setting they associate with having fun.

• Check out books. Looking at picture books kids can sing to, like Old MacDonald, or reading stories about music, like The Maestro Plays by Bill Martin Jr., is another easy way to introduce your child to the world of playing instruments and listening to and singing songs.

• Enroll in children's music programs. Kindermusik, a national music program, is a popular choice for children from newborn to age 7. The classes are designed around developmental stages, and the children learn about music through activities such as singing, moving to music, and playing games and simple instruments. The program also offers parents an opportunity to participate with their child.

• Dance to the music. Kids love to dance, so crank up the tunes and twist and shout. • Perform. If your child can bang out a tune on your pots and pans, why not put on a show? Make it casual, but special. Maybe you accompany your little drummer boy on a whistle. You might even videotape the show as a gift for Grandma and Grandpa.

source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com

Music And Your Toddler Or Preschooler (age 1 to 3)

How can listening to music benefit my child?
Toddlers and preschoolers have lots to gain from listening to music. It's fun, for one thing, and it also encourages movement, which is important for young children who are perfecting their motor skills. "Kids learn through movement," says Rosalie Pratt, a professor of music medicine at Brigham Young University. "When you see them at play, they're not talking, they're moving. This is how they pick things up."

Music helps you bond with your child, too. It'll move you to dance a jig or belt out a tune, much to the thrill of your little one. Imagine the joy you'll share swaying to the beat of a lovely melody (try Stevie Wonder's "You Are the Sunshine of My Life"). Or how much fun he'll have jumping with you in an energetic musical number ("The Chicken Dance" will leave you rolling on the floor with laughter).

Some experts go so far as to say that exposure to music makes children smarter, but hardly any data exists to validate this point. "The science is in its infancy," says Gordon Shaw, a physics professor and neuroscientist who studies music and brain development at the University of California at Irvine.

Is one type of music best for my toddler?
Let your child listen to whatever he likes, says Pratt. Try out your favorites, or classical music (the old standby), or spice things up with Brazilian or African tunes. Anything with a good melody will do, although slow songs may work best for bedtime and fast ones for play. In the morning, play classical music (choose something pleasant and happy, such as a tinkly piano concerto from Chopin or Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons") so he'll wake up in a light and upbeat mood.

Older kids may also enjoy a song that has a narrative they can follow, such as "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly," or "Miss Mary Mack." Encourage your toddler or preschooler to move to the music and express his emotions. For some recommendations。

When it comes to playing tunes for your kids, think cheerful and simple. You may want to stay away from head-banging rock, grunge music, or rap. Animal studies show that constant exposure to chaotic, discordant music alters the brain's structure, says Pratt. Even plants seem to abhor this type of music, she argues. Ivy growing on a home where classical music was played all day long flourished better than that on houses where occupants blasted hard rock.

Your musical selections don't have to be recorded ones, either. Break out into song once in a while. Tongue-twisting tunes, such as "The Name Game" ("Nina, Nina, bo-bina, banana, fana, fofina, mee-mi-momina, Nina) are fun. Learn entire ditties as a family, and sing them on car trips or on gloomy days when you're stuck at home.

Can learning how to play an instrument benefit my child?
Yes, if he's at least 3 years old. That's when his brain circuits for music training begin to mature. And studies suggest that music lessons can increase brain power. One University of California at Irvine study shows that 3- and 4-year-olds who took piano lessons performed better on tests that measured their spatial-temporal reasoning (ability to to think in space and time) than those who didn't.

Study author Gordon Shaw says these kids may be able to learn complex math problems earlier than others who've had no musical training. The piano is a good instrument to start with, he adds, because kids don't have to master any special fingering, as they would with a guitar, violin, or other stringed instrument. Plus, the linear progression of the keys helps make the concept of music scales concrete.

Yet another study suggests that music lessons sharpen the mind, but it looked only at older children. Scientists at the Chinese University in Hong Kong, whose research was published in the journal Nature in 1998, say kids who have at least six years of music lessons before the age of 12 learn more words than those who go without. Researchers read 16-word lists three times to 60 girls. Those who had studied music for six years remembered more words than those who hadn't. Martin Gardiner of the Music School in Providence, Rhode Island, examined the effect of music and art lessons on a group of 5- to 7-year-olds who were considered "underperformers." According to the magazine The Economist, after seven months of lessons, they were tested on reading, writing, and math and found to have caught up with their peers in reading and writing, and surpassed them in math.

Elizabeth Brice, a San Francisco mom, enrolled her 3-year-old daughter Natalie in an art and movement class (which encourages kids to dance around to music and then immerse themselves in an art project). "I wanted to expose her to music and art at a young age so she could incorporate them into everything else she learns," Brice explains. "The class fosters creativity and opens up her mind." It has also given Natalie a love of music and the arts. Since then, she has attended two art and movement classes, and two other music programs.

The bottom line
Let music be an integral part of your child's life, but don't make it your mission to mold a musical genius. Child prodigies like Mozart, who wrote his first symphony at age 8, are rare. But if you offer your child a chance to be immersed in the world of music (especially if you vary the selections), he'll probably grow up to be the kind of person who appreciates all kinds of music. Encourage him to take up a musical instrument, but don't push. "It's like having a beautiful Matisse print hanging in a prominent place in your home," says Pratt. You don't force the child to look at it every day, but it's there for him to enjoy. It's an enrichment process. "The presence of music is what matters," she adds.

When you expose your child to culture, he acquires a taste for the things in life that will feed his soul. Music does just that. As Shakespeare put it, "If music be the food of love, play on."

source from http://www.babycenter.com

Parents Center-Developmental Milestone: Separation and Indenpendence (birth to 12 mo.)

Separation and independence
As a newborn, your baby has no sense of himself as an individual; he thinks that the two of you are one and doesn't realize that the tiny hands and feet waving before him are his own. Over time, though, as your growing baby develops physically and mentally, he'll gradually figure out that he's his own little person, with his own body, thoughts, and feelings. Of course, he'll also want to do things his own way.

When it develops
Your baby's sense of individuality will take years to develop. At around 6 or 7 months, your baby begins to realize that he's separate from you and that you can leave him alone. This is when separation anxiety usually kicks in, and it can last well into the second year.

But once your child becomes more social, and more confident that you will, in fact, come back for him when you leave him at daycare or with a sitter, he'll be able to move forward and forge his own identity. By the toddler years, his growing independence may have blossomed enough to cause some problems: Wanting things "my way" is at the heart of many temper tantrums.

How it develops
1 to 6 months
Until his half birthday, your child will completely identify with his primary caregiver. Working on gaining control over his basic movements and reflexes, he can't even think about the process of forming his own identity during those first few months. His primary concern is filling his immediate needs for food, love, and attention.

You may start to notice the first signs of budding independence at about 4 months, when your baby discovers that he can cry to get your attention. That's one of the first steps in learning that he has an independent will and that how he behaves can have an impact on others — namely you.

A famous British study shows exactly how unaware babies are of their own existence. Researchers placed several infants under the age of 1 in front of a mirror to see whether they understood that the reflections were images of themselves. They didn't. Each baby would pat his mirror image, behaving as if he were seeing another baby. And when researchers dabbed red rouge on a baby's nose and plopped him back in front of the mirror, he always tried to touch his reflection's nose, not his own.

7 to 12 months
At around 7 months your baby will realize that he's independent of you. While this is an exciting cognitive milestone, this new understanding of separateness can make him anxious. He knows that you can leave him, but he doesn't know that you'll always come back, so he's likely to burst into tears when you leave, even for a minute.

Resist the urge to sneak away when his back is turned — when you leave him at daycare, for example. It won't help him cope, and it may just make him more afraid that you aren't coming back. Hard as it can be, say goodbye and go while he's watching.

13 to 24 months
Your baby is now making progress in differentiating himself from you and from the world around him. In the same British study mentioned above, researchers put rouge on the noses of children about 21 months of age. When these babies looked in the mirror, they touched their own noses; they understood that the reflections in the mirrors were images of themselves.

Your 2-year-old may still get upset when you leave him at daycare or with a sitter, but he'll recover more quickly now because he's more secure. Experience and his budding memory skills have taught him that you'll come back after being gone for a while. You've built his trust by continually showing him that you love and care for him.

It's also this trust that gives him the confidence to assert himself. His insistence on wearing those green pajamas for the fifth night in a row, eating only certain foods, and climbing into his car seat by himself are all signs of his increasing independence.

25 to 36 months
Between the ages of 2 and 3, your toddler will continue to struggle for independence. He'll wander farther away from you as he goes exploring, and he'll continue to test his limits (coloring on the walls, for example, even if you tell him not to). In fact, "I can do it myself" is probably one of the most common refrains you'll hear from your older toddler.

Your role
Your child needs a secure attachment to you before he can move away and explore his world. Consistently give him love and support, and he'll build the confidence he needs to strike out on his own. Beginning when he's an infant, respond immediately to your baby's cries. Build that crucial bond by feeding him when he's hungry, changing his diapers when they're dirty, and smiling and talking with him when he's alert.

You can play games with your baby to enhance his understanding of separation and return (so he learns not to panic when you leave him for a while). For example, play peekaboo by covering your face or ducking behind a piece of furniture, or hide a toy beneath a blanket and find it together. Not only do these games teach a lesson, the interaction fosters his sense of closeness to you.

To develop independence, your child needs to test his limits and explore his surroundings, so provide him with a safe home environment. Instead of running around saying "no" every time he touches something that could harm him, keep dangerous objects out of his reach and plenty of safe ones within it.

Encourage independence and a growing sense of self by giving your child choices and things he can do on his own. A choice between two outfits, snacks, or afternoon activities allows your child to think for himself, and having him drink from a cup or put his toys back into their container shows him he's learning to help himself.

Keep in mind that just because your child is starting to break out on his own doesn't mean he'll require less of your comfort and love. While he may grow less needy, he still craves your constant care. Encourage him any time he tries something on his own, but don't push him away when he runs back to you for support. He'll want and need your reassurance for a long time to come.

When to be concerned
Although separation anxiety is normal for babies between 9 and 18 months, you should consult your child's doctor if his anxiety becomes so overwhelming that he's unable to do anything without you by his side, or if he's inconsolable even after you're long gone from his presence.

What comes next
With age comes greater independence and self-awareness. Each year will bring more things that your child will want to do on his own. As your child gets older, he'll become more knowledgeable about himself and the scope of his abilities. Future developments include the ability to prepare his own food, make friends, and go to school.

source from http://www.babycenter.com