Toilet training: What to expect when
No magic age signals the ideal time to start the process of toilet training. Some children develop the necessary physical and cognitive skills as early as 18 to 24 months, whereas others aren't ready until they're 3 or 4 (boys are often slightly later than girls). Some children get the knack in a few short days, while it can take others a year or more.
What accounts for the wide age range in mastering this skill? Timing. Pediatricians have a saying about toilet training: If you start at 2 you'll be done by 3; if you start at 3 you'll be done by 3. "If you catch them when they're ready, it may only take a month," says Denise Aloisio, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician in
Signs of readiness
Your child must be physically ready to start potty training before you have any chance of success, meaning he can hold urine and stay dry for three hours or more (this indicates that his bladder muscles are sufficiently developed to store urine). He also needs to be able to recognize the physical signs that signal when he has to go, and act on them before anything comes out (no small feat when you've never had to think about this before). It makes it easier, too, if he can pull his clothes up and down by himself. Steer clear of overalls if he can't undo the clasps.
Physical and mental readiness aren't the only factors involved. Motivation is key. If your child demonstrates a desire for independence and shows an interest in imitating others' bathroom habits, it may be an auspicious time to plunge into the process. Children may figure out how to have a bowel movement before they learn to urinate in the potty because they typically only have BMs once or twice a day, usually at the same time.
What you can do
Your job as a parent is to make the toilet-training process as natural and non-threatening as possible. Keep a relaxed and positive attitude, and encourage your child to get accustomed to his potty. Let him help pick the potty out at the store, then let him play with it, look inside, sit his teddy bear on it. Then, ask him if he wants to sit on it — with his clothes on at first — so that he can get used to how the seat feels. If he wants to take a rain check on this, don't push it. Explain how the potty is used in simple terms that he can grasp: "This is for making pee and poop in when you're ready to stop wearing diapers." (Use whatever words you're comfortable with for urine and feces, but be sure he understands them.)
By now your child has probably seen you and your partner use the toilet on many occasions. He may be more interested in just watching at this point. Role models take the mystery and fear out of new things, so let him watch. After about a week of familiarizing him with the potty with his clothes on, empty the contents of his diaper into the potty, so he sees what's supposed to go in there.
Once your child is willing to use the potty, make it part of his routine — start with after breakfast or before his bath — and gradually increase from once to several times a day. Praise him for his success and brush off accidents or no-shows.
Don't rush to flush: Kids see pee and poop as an extension of their own bodies. They may be fascinated by and proud of what they put in the potty. Some children also like to wave bye-bye to their BMs.
Be careful not to push your child or nag. Just like grown-ups, children are much less receptive when someone is constantly on their case than when they feel like they're in charge. Instead, watch your child for changes in posture or facial expressions that signal he has to go. If he grabs himself or grunts, for instance, let these be your cues to gently remind him about the potty. Handle accidents and setbacks calmly and kindly. Just clean up the mess matter-of-factly and suggest that next time he try using his potty. You may also want to switch from plastic disposable diapers to cloth diapers at this stage.
You're more likely to have success with toilet training if you choose a time to plunge into the process when all is reasonably quiet on the home front. As a deadline-oriented adult, it might seem logical to start training a few weeks before the next baby is due, just before your child goes to preschool, or when you're planning to move to a new house. But 2-year-olds are contrary creatures, and the more they sense your not-so-hidden agenda, the less inclined they are to go along with it. So ditch the deadline, act casual about the whole thing, and let your child "own" the experience.
What to watch out for
If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated about potty progress, or if your child seems to resist toilet training, consider it a sign that you both need to take a breather. Too much pressure to perform can sabotage the whole exercise, so wait until you've regained your patience and your child seems more open to the idea — it could be a couple of days, or even months. If you choose this battle, you will inevitably lose — toilet training can only be mastered with your child's voluntary cooperation.
You should also stop the toilet training if your child is reluctant to use his potty or becomes constipated. If your child has infrequent bowel movements (less than three per week), if he passes either large stools or hard, pebbly stools, or if it is difficult for him to pass a bowel movement, talk with his doctor about possible constipation. Address his health problem first by varying his diet (bananas are good for firming up BMs while prunes and other fruits are good for loosening them) and getting him to drink lots of liquids. Then you can try toilet training again.
What's ahead
Once your child is using the potty regularly, you'll gradually make the move from diapers to training pants during the day. In preparation for preschool, you may also need to help your child make the shift from the potty to the toilet. Most children take longer to conquer naptime and nighttime dryness. Don't worry, though, if your child is not ready to take these toileting steps. When he's ready to learn these new big-kid skills, he will (and not a moment sooner).
source from http://parentcenter.babycenter.com
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